{"id":1063,"date":"2023-03-01T06:25:59","date_gmt":"2023-03-01T06:25:59","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.practicesolutionsinc.net\/blog\/?p=1063"},"modified":"2023-03-01T14:43:05","modified_gmt":"2023-03-01T14:43:05","slug":"short-term-discomfort-avoids-long-term-dysfunction","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.practicesolutionsinc.net\/blog\/2023\/03\/short-term-discomfort-avoids-long-term-dysfunction\/","title":{"rendered":"How to Have Difficult Conversations &#8211; Approacher-Approahcee"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>There are hundreds of moving parts in the day-to-day activities of a dental practice.\u00a0 Stuff happens even in the most successful practices.\u00a0 It is vital that the entire team is empowered to discuss and resolve issues.\u00a0 However, the fear of confrontation and conflict can often prevent many team members from having necessary difficult conversations.\u00a0 Avoiding the short-term discomfort of having difficult conversations often causes long term dysfunction.\u00a0 When we don\u2019t address issues as they happen, they will spiral out of control.\u00a0 We have all experienced something little grow into something big.<\/p>\n<p><iframe loading=\"lazy\" title=\"YouTube video player\" src=\"https:\/\/www.youtube.com\/embed\/U6NUVnQpjQQ\" width=\"560\" height=\"315\" frameborder=\"0\" allowfullscreen=\"allowfullscreen\"><\/iframe><\/p>\n<p>It\u2019s time to have the difficult conversations to sustain a happier, healthier, and higher performing service culture.\u00a0\u00a0 The conversation includes two roles.\u00a0 The Approacher(s) and Approachee(s).\u00a0 The Approacher(s) is the person conveying and inquiring and the Approachee it the person receiving and responding.<\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p><strong>The Approacher&#8217;s Role<\/strong><\/p>\n<p>A difficult conversation is always in private and starts with positive communication from the Approacher.\u00a0 The Approacher shares what they appreciate about the other person.\u00a0 They build up instead of tear down by focusing on the other person&#8217;s strengths.\u00a0 A positive conversation has a minimum of a three to one ratio.\u00a0 Three positives for every one growth opportunity.\u00a0 Research shows that exceptional relationships have a five to one ratio.\u00a0 You may be thinking; what if I can&#8217;t find 5 positives.\u00a0 Every person has a least 5 strengths you can highlight!\u00a0 We will discover their strengths when we shift our focus from their weaknesses to their strengths.\u00a0 How ironic that our strengths are just taken for granted and minimized whereas our weaknesses are highlighted.<\/p>\n<p>Be specific instead of generalizing.\u00a0 Focus more on objective points than subjective opinions. Just saying &#8220;I don&#8217;t like it or you&#8217;re doing this wrong&#8221; is not helpful. On the other hand, stating the specific strengths or skills you would like to see developed is helpful.<\/p>\n<p>Don&#8217;t make it personal.\u00a0 Talk about issue not the person.\u00a0 Avoid saying, &#8220;you need to&#8221;.\u00a0 Start the conversation with the word I instead of saying you.\u00a0 For example, &#8220;I noticed,&#8221; &#8220;I have seen,&#8221; &#8220;I observed,&#8221; or when sharing feedback from others, &#8220;I have had reported to me.&#8221; &#8220;I&#8221; conversations are issue-focused instead of person-focused.\u00a0 Always consider how your words may impact the other person.\u00a0\u00a0 Ask yourself; how can I say what I need to say and be respectful of how they may feel.<\/p>\n<p>Keep your energy neutral and come with a mindset of care, curiosity, and concern instead of judgment and criticism.\u00a0 Never have a conversation when you are angry or frustrated or your emotions will rule the conversation.\u00a0 Instead take a few minutes to process and get calm. Start out by making eye contact with the other person.\u00a0 Be mindful of tone and body language as well as words. A tone of care and concern communicates a sense of importance and provides the appropriate level of sincerity to the conversation.\u00a0 Avoid using sarcasm or derogatory words or the content of the conversation will get lost in the harshness. Once you say something it cannot be taken back. An apology doesn&#8217;t mean we forget.\u00a0 The old nursery rhyme that goes sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me, is not true.\u00a0 Words can destroy even the best of relationships.<\/p>\n<p>Break your feedback down into key points. Don&#8217;t give your feedback as one big lump. Break it down into various key points, then give your feedback point by point.<\/p>\n<p>Give examples of each point. What are the exact issues, situations, or examples where the person exhibits the behaviors you highlighted? There is no need to highlight every single one. &#8211; just disclosing a couple of examples per point will be sufficient. The purpose is to bring the person&#8217;s awareness to things which he\/she may not be aware of and clearly illustrate what you mean.<\/p>\n<p>Be timely!\u00a0 Try to address issues\/concerns as they happen or within 24 hours of the occurrence. I have actually seen employers make a list of everything an employee has done wrong or needs to improve on for the year and go over it at their annual review.\u00a0 It reminds me of Santa Claus&#8217;s naughty list!\u00a0\u00a0 It&#8217;s no wonder why reviews get a bad rap!<\/p>\n<p>Ask the other person what they need from you (communication, support, training, practice) to be able to achieve the desired results.\u00a0 Together discuss and agree on a resolution.<\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p><strong>The Approachee&#8217;s Role<\/strong><\/p>\n<p>The aproachee is to start out by just listening and not taking offense.\u00a0 The team must be able to talk about what\u2019s not working to resolve issues.\u00a0 It is important to recognize that the approacher&#8217;s intent is good and to realize that it is not easy to approach someone.<\/p>\n<p>Listen intently before responding.\u00a0 Make eye contact with the other person.\u00a0 Instead of defending, deflecting, or blaming someone else consider how your actions or lack of actions affected the outcome.\u00a0\u00a0 Be honest with your response.<\/p>\n<p>Acknowledge you heard and understand them.\u00a0 Never assume.\u00a0 If you are unsure ask questions until you clearly understand.\u00a0 If you are thinking I think they mean this&#8230;ask more questions.<\/p>\n<p>Don&#8217;t take it personal.\u00a0 If the issue pertains to the patients, the practice, or the team it is necessary to address.\u00a0 It can be difficult to hear when we are not meeting the standards or expectations.\u00a0 However, it is necessary to address to create and sustain a happier, healthier and higher performing culture.<\/p>\n<p>Take it seriously.\u00a0 It may not seem important or be a priority to you, but it is for the other person.<\/p>\n<p>Control your emotions.\u00a0 If you are upset don&#8217;t just walk off in anger or frustration.\u00a0 Instead, let them know that you need a little time to process the information they shared, and you will respond later that day.\u00a0 Try respond within 24 hours.<\/p>\n<p>If you are on the receiving end of anger or frustration, ask the person if they are okay.\u00a0 This is their cue to reset their energy to calm and neutral.\u00a0 A response of frustration, sigh or rolling of the eyes, may actually be inward focused and yet can feel directed outward.\u00a0 If you are feeling attacked or uncomfortable let them know.\u00a0 For example, you seem frustrated or angry is that directed towards me.<\/p>\n<p>Share what you need (communication, support, training, practice) to be able achieve the desired results.\u00a0 Together discuss and agree on a solution and make a commitment.<\/p>\n<p>Have the difficult conversations to sustain a happier, healthier, and higher performing service culture!<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>There are hundreds of moving parts in the day-to-day activities of a dental practice.\u00a0 Stuff happens even in the most successful practices.\u00a0 It is vital that the entire team is empowered to discuss and resolve issues.\u00a0 However, the fear of confrontation and conflict can often prevent many team members from having necessary difficult conversations.\u00a0 Avoiding [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[2,3,4,5,6,7,8,9,10,11,12,13,16,18,19,20,22,23,194,27,204,191,30,32,33,39,44,197,47,49,50,51,52,53,217,195,196,1],"tags":[63,68,70,73,76,84,88,89,93,96,121,124,140,146,149,160,167,170],"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO plugin v22.6 - 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