{"id":854,"date":"2020-03-01T08:09:15","date_gmt":"2020-03-01T08:09:15","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.practicesolutionsinc.net\/blog\/?p=854"},"modified":"2020-03-01T14:05:27","modified_gmt":"2020-03-01T14:05:27","slug":"false-assumptions","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.practicesolutionsinc.net\/blog\/2020\/03\/false-assumptions\/","title":{"rendered":"False Assumptions!"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>False assumptions run rampant and are often negative.\u00a0 Mary leaves at the end of the day without saying goodbye!\u00a0 I know what that meant!\u00a0 She must be upset!\u00a0 How do I know?\u00a0 Because I would never leave without saying goodbye &#8211; unless I was upset!<\/p>\n<p>What happened here?\u00a0 I judged her behavior and assigned meaning based on what it would mean if I exhibited that same behavior.\u00a0 Maybe, just maybe, Mary had an important appointment she was in a hurry to get to\u2026or maybe she had a hot date!<\/p>\n<p><iframe loading=\"lazy\" src=\"https:\/\/www.youtube.com\/embed\/-WSaEMtYaHY\" width=\"560\" height=\"315\" frameborder=\"0\" allowfullscreen=\"allowfullscreen\"><\/iframe><\/p>\n<p>Consider these other familiar interactions:<\/p>\n<p>A co-worker with whom you normally have lunch doesn\u2019t make room for you to sit with them.\u00a0 Do you assume something must be wrong?\u00a0 In their reality, they likely assume that you would have asked them to make room or would have made room for yourself if you wanted to join them.<\/p>\n<p>A co-worker asks you to do something in a different way.\u00a0 You\u2019ve tried it that way before and it didn\u2019t work.\u00a0 Do you refuse?<\/p>\n<p>You have an encounter with a brother, sister, parent, child or spouse where there is a disagreement because of a difference of opinion.\u00a0 Of course, you believe you are right, and they are wrong!<\/p>\n<p>We have surely all experienced scenarios like these!\u00a0 They are all examples of false assumptions based on our personal truths.<\/p>\n<p>False assumptions based on our personal truths are the number one breakdown in communication.\u00a0 When we interact with others, we are always coming from a place that is dominated with our own experiences.\u00a0 Our expectations differ because of our unique and individual beliefs, opinions, and assumptions based on our experiences.\u00a0 These expectations become our personal truths upon which we base judgments of right and wrong.\u00a0 (Think B.O.A.T. &#8211; Beliefs, Opinions, Assumptions become our truths.<\/p>\n<p>We all have unique and individual experiences, yet we expect each other to think, act and respond in the same way that we would.\u00a0 These false assumptions get us into trouble when we think others must behave in the same manner as we do, or their behavior is wrong.\u00a0 We think others must believe what we believe, or they are wrong.\u00a0 Once we understand that our personal truths, how we judge the world and what we believe to be right and wrong, are based on the unique and individual experiences we have, we can no longer believe that our answer is the only right answer.<\/p>\n<p>It is important to understand and respect other personal truths to communicate effectively.\u00a0 Here is a three-letter word that will resolve 90% of your communication problems.\u00a0 ASK!\u00a0 When you get that twinge in your gut and you think\u2026 \u201cHmmm\u2026I wonder what they meant by that?\u201d\u00a0 or you find yourself saying \u201cI think they meant this\u201d &#8211; you don\u2019t know!\u00a0 Stop yourself immediately from wondering and speculating and ASK!\u00a0 You will be surprised how many of your initial beliefs, opinions and assumptions are incorrect once you hear their intent.<\/p>\n<p>Once you ask, listen to them with an open mind.\u00a0 Let them share why they feel the way they do or did something a certain way.\u00a0 We must stop judging with a mindset of right or wrong.\u00a0 Some things may seem 100% right to me and to you they may seem 100% wrong.\u00a0 Who\u2019s right? The reality is that in many cases there is no right or wrong.\u00a0 Our judgment is based on our past experiences.\u00a0 If something I experienced in my past was positive, I will believe it will be positive again.\u00a0 Another person may have had the same experience, but it was negative.\u00a0 They will assume it will be negative again.\u00a0 Therefore, if we both described the same situation, it would differ greatly.<\/p>\n<p>Let me give another example.\u00a0 I went on a hot air balloon ride in Napa Valley when I turned 50.\u00a0 It was a gorgeous day and I did not want it to end.\u00a0 I look forward to going again someday.\u00a0 Another friend of mine went on a hot air balloon ride, the weather was terrible, and the flying was scary.\u00a0 She has no desire to ever go on another hot air balloon ride again.\u00a0 I think balloon rides are awesome, she thinks they are awful.\u00a0 Who is right and who is wrong?\u00a0 See what I mean?<\/p>\n<p>In your office, one team member may have had good experience doing something a certain way while another did not.\u00a0\u00a0 It is important for them to come to an agreement to create a consistent process, system or protocol.\u00a0 They can start by sharing their personal truths about the experience.\u00a0 They must listen openly to each other and agree on an answer or solution that works for both.\u00a0 To come to an agreement, we need to understand it will never be perfect for anyone but can be good or effective for everyone.\u00a0 If we want our version of perfection, we will have to work alone!<\/p>\n<p>It is important that we as individuals make a personal commitment to be open, respectful and understanding of each other\u2019s personal truths.\u00a0 This is what enables us to communicate and interact effectively with others.\u00a0 Our success depends greatly on how well we communicate in our personal and professional lives.\u00a0 When we communicate openly, positively, and effectively we inspire connections and build sincere, strong, sustaining relationships.\u00a0 Our ceiling for success is instantly raised and the sky\u2019s the Limit.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>False assumptions run rampant and are often negative.\u00a0 Mary leaves at the end of the day without saying goodbye!\u00a0 I know what that meant!\u00a0 She must be upset!\u00a0 How do I know?\u00a0 Because I would never leave without saying goodbye &#8211; unless I was upset! What happened here?\u00a0 I judged her behavior and assigned meaning [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[2,3,4,5,6,186,7,8,9,10,11,12,13,14,15,16,17,18,19,20,21,22,23,194,24,25,26,199,27,28,29,191,30,31,32,33,34,35,36,37,38,39,40,41,42,192,56,43,44,190,45,188,46,47,48,49,50,187,51,52,53,54,195,1,184,55],"tags":[61,63,68,73,76,82,84,87,88,89,91,92,93,94,96,98,101,107,110,111,120,121,126,131,138,140,144,146,149,153,154,159,160,166,167,169,170,175,178,179,182],"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO plugin v22.6 - https:\/\/yoast.com\/wordpress\/plugins\/seo\/ -->\n<title>False Assumptions! - Practice Solutions Blog<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/www.practicesolutionsinc.net\/blog\/2020\/03\/false-assumptions\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"False Assumptions! - Practice Solutions Blog\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"False assumptions run rampant and are often negative.\u00a0 Mary leaves at the end of the day without saying goodbye!\u00a0 I know what that meant!\u00a0 She must be upset!\u00a0 How do I know?\u00a0 Because I would never leave without saying goodbye &#8211; unless I was upset! 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