February 2015

Slaying Stress Monsters!

Many of us feel stressed on a daily basis and for some of us even hourly! Stress affects our health, happiness and our success in life. Our level of success in life is defined by our level of happiness and our level of happiness is driven by the level of stress we feel in our day to day routines. This month’s focus is on learning how to remove stress to get happier and more successful!

Let’s start with the myths about stress…that stress is something that happens to us …or that someone made us feel stressed. The reality is that stress does not happen to us it is manifested by us. It is not what is happening or not happening or who does what that causes our stress. It is how we think and respond to the situation that causes our stress. We often talk about stress as if it is a physical thing like a monster that seeks us out. Stress does not come looking for us. We manifest it from within. Whether we feel stress is always subject to our mindset.

“Our mindset creates our stress level!”

There are four common stress monsters that we most often manifest. We can remove the stress in our life by identifying and overcoming these monsters.

The first stress monster is the WHAT IF monster! We worry and agonize about what if this happens or what if that happens.   What if they don’t like us or don’t accept us. What if I am not good enough? What if I do this and I end up opening a can of worms or the biggest what if…what if I fail! The stress of what if weighs heavy on many of us ad keeps us playing ourselves small. When you start to feel yourself spin into the WHAT IF cycle:

• Stop ruminating
• Breathe deep and count to 10 slowly for 30 seconds
• Observe emotion than let it go!
• Start thinking & processing!
• Make a plan!
  • What is the worst case scenario
  • What is the best case scenario
  • What is most likely to happen
  • Will I live? If the answer is yes…take the next step

The second stress monster is the SHOULDS monster. We constantly stress ourselves out with negative self-talk. We become critical and think I should do this I shouldn’t have done that. The more we do it the more we start to doubt our worth and what we can accomplish. When we get into the comparison trap someone always ends up losing, usually it is us. Others are doing this or have this…I should…! When you start to SHOULD on yourself:

• Stop being a Wallower
  • Wallowers – complain ,criticize, blame, gossip and compare
• Be a creator
• Focus on what is positive in your life
• Identify what isn’t
• Go after what you want
• Replace the word Should with Could

The third stress monster is the PERFECTION monster. We stress about doing everything perfect. It paralyzes us and can stop us from taking even the first step. We start to procrastinate and stress out of fear of not doing it perfect. We start to feel petty and insignificant. The reality is none of us can start from perfect. Success comes only after mistakes. We will never become the person we could become if we limit ourselves to perfection. Success happens when we keep trying until you persevere. When the PERFECTION monster starts judging you:

• Strive for excellence not perfection
• Set high standards not impossible standards
• Value who you are not what you do
• Learn from failure instead of being devastated
• Correct mistakes instead of dwelling on them
• Appreciate instead of detest critical feedback
• Don’t base your self-esteem on winning
• Focus on the process as well as the results

The fourth stress monster is the DOOM & GLOOM monster. You know like Eeyore from Winnie the Pooh! We become pessimistic and stress about life. We see the glass as half empty. We believe life is full of adversities that happen just to us. We believe the bad things will continue to happen throughout our entire life and they will affect everything we do. Our beliefs generate our feelings and our feelings determine our outcome. It becomes a negative self-prophesizing cycle. When the DOOM & GLOOM monster hangs over your head:

• Dispute the negative limiting beliefs
• Verify accuracy
• Identify 3 potential positives
• Take action steps to support the positive

When we identify the monster we our manifesting we can take action steps to remove it. I like to visualize the monster sitting on my shoulder and remove it by saying I see you and physically flicking it off my shoulder! Slay the stress monsters in your life and get happier and more successful! TA-DAH!

Contact Judy Kay today if you would like to learn more about how she can help your team WORK together better to build a happy healthy and high performing service culture!