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October 1, 2023

Support or Sabotage?

Beware there are master manipulators who can disguise sabotage as support. It is usually done under the guise of care and concern.  The sad part is that the master manipulators may even be those closest to us that are high trust relationships.  They can be our family, friends, and work colleagues.  You may have heard some of the following comments:

  • “I want to prevent you from getting hurt!” 
  • “I don’t want them to take advantage of you!”
  • “I don’t want you to make a fool of yourself when you fail!”

Think about your personal and professional life.  Have you ever been challenged with similar statements by a family member, colleague, or someone you thought was your friend?  They may even have made those exact same statements.  If you are like me, you may have put a smile on your face while you winced inside.  The hurt and disappointment may have been too deep to respond amicably.  

When I started my business, I received some very interesting comments from friends.  I say the word friends loosely. 

  • “Judy Kay, when are you going to stop pretending and get a real job?”
  • “Judy Kay, what makes you think you can write a book?”
  • “Judy Kay, orange is not a professional color.”
  • “Judy Kay, you will never hold and audience!”
  • “Judy Kay, you can’t wear a denim jacket on stage!”

So, what’s the why behind sabotaging behaviors?  I have found two consistent weeds at the root of sabotage behavior.

  • Fear of failure sabotage
  • Comparison sabotage

The first weed is Fear Sabotage.  Fear sabotage is fear of failure and is deep rooted.  People will project their fear of failure onto others.  They believe they are protecting others.  The ironic part is that fear is really only a negative prediction of the future.  In most cases, what they worry about doesn’t happen.  What actually happened, they didn’t even think about or worry about, and yet they still survived.  It’s proof that worry is a total waste of energy and time. 

Have you ever changed your mind about doing something because of someone asking, “But what if this happens”?  You’ve just been “what if’d” out of action. 

“Your life is a reflection of what you believe it can be!” ~ Judy Kay Mausolf

Fear of failure manifests itself in many worries.  Fear of not being good enough, fear of not being liked or accepted, fear of judgment or criticism, fear of retaliation, fear of not being able to handle the situation; in essence, simply the fear of “what if”. 

If we can learn to evaluate the real danger, as opposed to the perception of danger (what if), we will get a more realistic viewpoint and we will be less afraid to act. Whether or not we act will be based on our confidence in being able to handle the situation versus other’s what ifs. 

The second weed is Comparison Sabotage.  Comparison Sabotage has everything to do with the limiting beliefs of the other person.  It has nothing to do with us and our capabilities.  I love this quote, “When we compare someone always loses.”  The comparer’s limiting beliefs are:

  • I am not worthy therefore why do you think you are?
  • I am willing to settle why aren’t you?
  • I can’t do it so what makes you think you can?

“What others think of you has very little to do with who you really are!” ~ Judy Kay Mausolf

How do we recognize the difference between support and sabotage? 

Saboteurs

  • Their opinion is always right
  • Ultimatums their suggestions are ignored
  • Deflect when challenged

The saboteur will deflect when questioned about their limiting beliefs.  They see it as a personal attack.   They will redirect the focus, blame, or criticism away from themselves.  It is an attempt to avoid dealing with negative consequences. It is also a reactive coping mechanism to avoid feelings of guilt and shame.  At its worst is a narcissistic manipulation tactic to avoid ownership and accountability. 

Supporters

  • Open to other’s opinions even when it doesn’t align with theirs
  • Willingness to initiate change initiated by someone other than them
  • Take ownership and admit to mistakes

Supporters will support you even when your dreams are bigger than theirs. Surround yourself with supporters who believe in you and are excited to help you achieve your dreams!

July 1, 2023

Get Happier! Part 2

Happiness is not just feel good, nice to have, fluff stuff.  When we feel happier more often, we entirely change our beliefs about our world, what we can achieve, and ourselves.  Harvard and Mayo Clinic research supports that the happier we are, the more successful, more intelligent, more creative, more productive and healthier we will be.


Here are the final two of four strategies to create a happier culture.

Smile Power

We get happier and make others happier when we smile.  Smile energy is extremely powerful and wide spreading.  A smile instantly creates positive energy in the environment and uplifts the mindsets of the giver, the receiver, and everyone in the vicinity.  People want to spend time around people that make them feel better.  Smiles are contagious.

A simple smile can change how you and everyone around you feels.  Try to think of something negative and keep smiling.  It is very difficult to do.  When you smile, your body recognizes it as a positive body pattern and sends a message to you that everything is okay, and that life is great.  Smiling changes our mood. When you’re feeling sad, or stressed, start smiling and you will feel instantly better.

Smile when you don’t feel well to improve your health.  A smile can boost your immune system by improving your general feelings of well-being.  Smiling makes you feel more relaxed which reduces your blood pressure and feelings of stress.  People who smile live an average of seven years longer than people who do not.  Get happier and live longer by smiling often every day!

 Action Plan – Smile Power

  • Make eye contact.
  • Smile genuinely.
  • Don’t worry about their response and whether they smile back or not. It’s not important.

Laughter Power

We get happier when we laugh more often.  Add a regular dose of laughter to every day and you will not only be happier, you will also be healthier!  However, it is not always so easy to do.  We get so busy that we focus only on getting the job done.  We don’t slow down enough to take time to laugh.  We need to add laughter to our list of daily priorities!

 Laughter triggers healthy physical changes in the body.  A good, hearty laugh:

  • Relieves physical tension and stress, leaving your muscles relaxed for up to an additional 45 minutes
  • Boosts the immune system
  • Decreases stress hormones
  • Triggers the release of endorphins, the body’s natural feel-good chemicals.
  • Improves the function of blood vessels and increases blood flow, which can protect you against a heart attack and other cardiovascular problems

Think about it.  When was the last time you had a hearty laugh?  No, I am not talking about a little chuckle.  I am talking about a throw your head back, side holding, tears streaming, almost wet your pants laugh!  You don’t need to have a sense of humor, be happy or have any reason to laugh.  Just laugh for the sake of laughing!

Action Plan – Laughter Power

  • Fake it until you feel it.
  • Schedule time to practice laughing every day.
  • Surround yourself with people and things that make you laugh.

The more you practice laughing, the better you will become and the happier you will feel!

Implement the four strategies to get happier, Focus Power, Choice Power, Smile Power, and Laughter Power and you will get happier!

June 1, 2023

Get Happier! Part 1

Get happy!  Fame, money, stuff, or even other people can’t make us happy.  Just look at all the famous and wealthy people who are miserable.  Happiness doesn’t have anything to do with what we have, where we’ve been, or who we are. Happiness comes from within.  We are happy when we choose to be happy.  We have a choice:  to enjoy our lives or to find fault.  We truly do write our own stories of happiness.

“Every moment you make a choice of what you want to keep, and what you want to let go of…and that’s how you write your story!” ~ Judy Kay Mausolf

Here are the first two of four strategies to get happier!

Focus Power!

We get happier when we change our focus to positive.  You can be happy even when life seems difficult.  Here is the big secret about staying happy and positive in difficult times.  It does not take any superpowers or anything special.  It is simply a clear understanding of the power of focus.

“Our focus creates our attitude.” ~ Judy Kay Mausolf

Our attitude is a learned behavior.  Having a positive attitude is a skill.  If you focus on the positive, you will have a positive attitude.  If you focus on the negative, you will have a negative attitude.  When you hear people say they are in a bad mood, it is because they choose to linger in the negative emotions.  The physical part of any emotion only lasts thirty seconds or less.  Any emotion after thirty seconds comes from hanging on to the emotion.   Woe is me people, or what I refer to as wallowers, choose to be victims of their emotions.  They wallow in them like a mud bath and tell everyone how miserable they are in hopes of eliciting sympathy.  They actually enjoy the drama and negative emotions.

The science behind the thirty seconds of emotion pertains to fight or flight.  Our immediate responses to negative or positive emotional stimuli are the result of a chemical reaction in our brains.  Responses such as a rush of adrenaline lump in our throats, being out of breath, a dry mouth, sweat running down our backs, faces turning red, nervous laughter, flailing, and kicking, and tears welling up in our eyes – these responses happen in the first five seconds.  In the next 25 seconds, we battle to take control of our bodies.  It is best not to suppress nor deny the emotion, but to let ourselves feel it, observe the physical effect on us, mentally step aside from it, and let it go.

We can choose not to be negative, angry, hurt, stressed, frustrated, grumpy or whatever.  It is always our choice.  Instead, focus on finding a solution and a reason to be happy and feel good in every situation.

Action Plan – Focus Power:

Here are action steps to achieve Focus Power:

  • Whenever you feel stressed and, in the fight, or flight zone, breathe deeply and count to ten, slowly for thirty seconds.
  • Feel and observe the physical reaction and then let it go.
  • Identify three positives in the situation. Even in the most horrific circumstances there are positives.
  • Shift your focus from what is negative or missing to what is positive and present.
  • Spend 10% of your time focused on the problem and 90% on the solution.

Choice Power

We get happier when we choose to be happier.  Have you ever thought, “I was in great mood until “___________” happened”?  When we allow “___________” (whatever the blank is at the moment) to affect how we feel, we are in essence relinquishing our power and allowing circumstances to control our emotions.  If we allow our circumstances to control our emotions, we become a victim of our circumstances.  The truth is that circumstances don’t dictate how we feel – we do!  It is always our choice!

“Happiness is always our choice!” ~ Judy Kay Mausolf

Action Plan ~ Choice Power

  • Wake up.
  • Affirm it is going to be an awesome day.
  • Choose to be positive regardless of how you feel.
  • Choose words and actions that have a positive impact.

Implement the first two strategies and you will get happier!  Tune in next month to learn the about strategy three and four to get happier!

May 1, 2023

Stop Walking On Eggshells!

I have the privilege of working with dental teams nationwide to help them co-create a happier, healthier, and higher performing culture.  There are so many moving parts in a routine dental practice’s day. The schedule, among other things, doesn’t always happen as planned.  There are even some days when it feels as if the wheels may have fallen off.  We need to as a team be able openly discuss what is working and what is not.  The obstacles are the eggshells that get in the way.

What are eggshells?  Eggshells are the fragile feelings that arise when we try to resolve a conflict with another.  These fragile feelings are a result of what we perceive based on our past personal experiences and not necessarily the other person’s intent.  Some of the fragile feelings I am referring to are fear, anger, judgment, retaliation, desire to be liked, insecurity, nothing changes, peer pressure, hurt feelings, disrespect, it’s not nice, or it’s not my problem.

These eggshells stop many of us from addressing the elephants (the unstated issues or concerns) in the room.  We create barriers between each other by laying our eggshells all around ourselves and worrying about stepping on those that others have laid around themselves.  We believe if we talk about what is not working or what is a problem or a concern we will step on their eggshells.  Almost everything becomes too uncomfortable or off-limits to discuss.  So, we don’t!  Instead, we just keep everything inside to avoid the eggshells and the practice culture deteriorates.  The chance to make good things happen, (better results, better relationships, and more responsibility) disappears.  What appears instead is a herd of elephants.  Everyone knows they are there and yet no one will talk about them for fear of stepping on an eggshell.

The problem is, if we don’t discuss the issues as they happen, they don’t go away.  Instead, the issues become elephants and the herd continues to grow until it takes over the entire practice.  We end up tiptoeing around each other’s eggshells and pretending the elephants don’t exist.  Or gossip grows out of frustration.  Communication between team members becomes emotionally charged.  The conflicts continue to grow; resolution becomes almost impossible.  The practice culture becomes stressful and negative.  This emotional stress and negative environment can drive even the best of team members to leave the practice!

To overcome the eggshells, we need to first acknowledge they exist.  Have a team meeting to talk about the eggshells in the office.  Have each team member identify which eggshells they surround themselves with most often.  I recently held a team meeting where each team member identified their eggshells.  There was a variety of answers; desire to be liked, hurt feelings, judgment, criticism, retaliation, and nothing ever changes.  They differ for each team member because of their past experiences.

Once the eggshells have been identified, discuss the importance of talking about issues as they happen regardless of their existence.  This proactive communication helps to prevent and remove the elephants from the room.  Reinforce the message; we are all working together towards the same goal of a healthy, happy, and high performing practice culture.  To accomplish this, we must give each other a break and believe that our other team members’ intents are good.  We need to talk about the issues even if talking about issues creates eggshells like hurt feelings, judgment, or criticism.

We need to stop assuming we know what someone meant by their actions or words or the way they said something.  Sometimes even what they say or the words they use can mean something different than what we believe them to mean.  Approach with care and concern to help relieve tension and avoid defensiveness.  Respectfully ask questions until you understand the other person’s true intent.  Here are two questions I recommend based on issue.

  • I am not quite sure what you mean, please tell me more.
  • I am not quite sure what happened, please tell me more.

Once we understand each other’s intent our trust grows, and it becomes easier to talk about the issues and resolve conflict.  Resolving conflict as it occurs will help to prevent elephants and promote a happy, healthy, high performing team environment.

Be a good egg; approach and be approachable!

April 1, 2023

5 Essentials to Embrace Change Successfully!

You may have heard the quote; “The only thing that is constant is change!”  It is true, change is inevitable but not always positive or successful!  The reality is that some work cultures support positive change, while other cultures sabotage change. There are many factors involved, such as team workload, other current changes in progress, team beliefs about change, clear communication about the change, benefits of the change, appropriate training, coaching and support provided during the change, etc.

I have the privilege of helping dental teams nationwide create a happier, healthier and higher performing culture that they will enjoy coming to everyday.  This always involves making changes.  I often observe team members roll their eyes and let out deep sighs of frustration when they hear there is another change heading their way.  They stress and worry about how it will affect them and how long it will last.  This article is dedicated to learning how to rise above the pain of change and make it a positive process.

Change for many of us is often scary.  The fear of change comes when we start the assumptions of “what if” thoughts!  How many times have you been afraid to make a change because of saying to yourself, “But what if this happens”? You just “what if’d” yourself right out of action. Think about this. It’s a biggy! How many times has fear stopped you? The ironic part is that fear is really only a negative prediction of the future. In most cases, what we worry about doesn’t happen. What actually happened, we didn’t even think about or worry about, and yet we still survived. Its proof that worry is a total waste of energy and time. If we can learn to evaluate the real danger, as opposed to the perception of danger (what if), we will get a more realistic viewpoint and we will be less afraid to make the change. Imagine how much happier you would be right this second if the fear of “what if” had no impact on your decisions. What would you do or change? What would your life look like right now?

Change requires us to have courage to face our fear of “what if” in unpredictable and unknown!  Regardless of how dysfunctional, unhappy, unproductive or toxic the current culture may be it often feels safer to keep the status quo.  The known almost always feels safer than the unknown.  That is why it is imperative that the value of the change be clear to those asked to make the change.  It is essential that the value and benefits of change rate an 8 or above on a scale of 1 to 10 with 10 being high.  Otherwise, the chance for the change to be positive and sustainable is limited.

I have found 5 essentials to help dental teams rise above their fears and embrace change as a positive process.

  • Trust in leadership
  • Clear and consistent direction
  • Structured plan
  • Adequate training and practice time
  • Realistic workload

The number one essential necessary to embrace change is trust in the leadership.  If the team members trust their leader(s) they will be more willing to step into the unpredictable and unknown.  Leaders can build trust by embodying the following traits:

  1. Model the waddle is the number one leadership principle – in other words lead by example
  2. Have a clear and consistent direction
  3. Be transparent by communicating to keep the team in the loop as much as possible
  4. Be open to suggestions and feedback
  5. Address any obstacles, fears or concerns the team may have about the change

The second essential is to communicate a clear and consistent direction.  It is important to use a decision strategy to avoid fly-bys and emotion driven decisions in the heat of the moment.  I teach the following four strategic steps:

  • What’s in the best interests of the patients, practice and the team – not any individual and long term
    • Think about 10 months and 10 years instead of next 10 minutes or 10 days
  • What is practical and realistic based on time, people and money currently available
  • What is the precedent being set
    • Is it fair, if we can’t do it across the board for everyone on the team it will feel like favoritism and divide the team
  • What is the level of passion we are willing to support the decision
    • Will we support it when push comes to shove even if it may result in losing an employee or a patient

Set your team up to succeed by communicating the change clearly and concisely.  I suggest the following communication process:

  • Clarify expectations
  • Ask questions to make sure everyone understands
  • Write objective down in bullet points if more than a couple of things
  • Identify equipment and supplies necessary
  • Schedule adequate training and practice time
  • Set realistic expectations for completion time and date
  • For more involved longer tasks schedule a check in

The third essential is for leadership to work with the team to develop a well-structured plan.  If you want the team to embrace a change, ask for their suggestions and feedback on how to implement the change.  If you want the team to have ownership, give them authorship as well.  A well-structured plan is well thought out and clearly defined.  I teach teams the R.I.S.E. Implementation Process to help them work together to create a well-structured plan.  R.I.S.E. is an acronym for Review, Implement, Sustain and Evaluate.

  • Review
    • What is it we are currently doing
    • What is working and what is not
    • Keep what is let go of what is not
    • WIIFTT – What’s in it for the team if we make the change
      • It is important for the value/benefits to rate an 8 or above on scale of 1 to 10 or it is difficult to sustain
    • Implement
      • What are we going to change
      • Who is going to do it
      • Who are we going to do it for
      • When are we going to do it – including time, sequence and flow
      • Where are we going do it – very specific location
      • Why are we going to do it
        • WIIFTT if we make the change – there must always be something in it for the team for the team to sustain the change
      • How are we going do it
        • Practice verbal skills
        • Practice role playing – yes, I know it’s awkward and it’s effective
        • Practice the entire physical walk through – never test it out for the first time on a patient
      • Create standard operating procedures
      • Schedule the roll out date
    • Sustain
      • In order to sustain it is important for the new change to become a habit
      • It takes a range of anywhere between 17 to 257 days to form a habit depending on the difficulty with the average being 66 days
        • Give any new change at least 60 days to get comfortable before considering any changes
      • Be precise and consistent to form a habit much sooner
        • Same sequence and steps for every team member every time
      • Support the change positively in words, actions and attitude
    • Evaluate
      • Is the process still working effectively
      • If not, what is the value and benefits in a change
      • Any change takes ongoing tweaking

The fourth essential is to schedule appropriate and adequate training and practice time.  I have found that the most positive and successful changes happen when the team has time to train and practice.

For new team members have clearly written weekly goals for the first 3 months.  Review the progress with the new team member weekly.  From 3 months to 1 year change to clear written monthly goals and review monthly.   Having clear written goals helps manage the expectations for the new team member as well as existing team.

For existing team members, meetings are the perfect opportunity for training and practice time.  Utilize your team meetings to:

  • Review and update systems and protocols
  • Implement new ideas
  • Monitor process of yearly goals
  • Practice, practice, practice
    • Verbal skills, role playing and physical walk through

Team meetings are most effective when you:

  • Schedule often enough
  • Schedule time enough
  • Schedule when most can attend
  • Get feedback from the entire team
    • Encourage solution focused suggestions on how to overcome potential obstacles

The fifth essential is to be realistic with the workload.  It will be very difficult to get the team excited about embracing something new if they are already swamped and consistently running behind.  It is important to evaluate whether there is adequate time, money, and people to successfully implement the change.  Don’t firehose your employees with changes.  Implement only one or two new changes at a time.  Even the most committed employees will become resistant to change if they are consistently overwhelmed.

Cultivating a culture with these 5 essentials will help you rise above the pain of change and make it a positive process.

November 1, 2022

Get Grateful…Get Happy!

Did you know that grateful people are happier?  People who are grateful feel higher levels of wellbeing.  Grateful people are less depressed, less stressed, and more satisfied with their lives and social relationships. Grateful people also have higher levels of control of their environments, personal growth, purpose in life, self-acceptance, and success. Grateful people also have less negative coping strategies, being less likely to try to avoid the problem, deny there is a problem, blame themselves, or cope through substance use. Grateful people sleep better, and this seems to be because they think less negative and more positive thoughts just before going to sleep.

Sometimes it can be difficult to show gratitude when we don’t feel it. I think gratitude is kind of tricky. It’s one of those things that until we start to show it, we don’t feel it. The tricky part is how do we show if we don’t feel it? Do we fake it? I believe we get so busy in our lives we no longer perceive what we have as gifts instead we take them for granted. It is not until we lose them that we remember how much they mean to us. Life becomes routine and things are just normal, and we falsely believe normal will last forever.

As hard as these economic times can be…there can also be blessings. They force us to realize there are no guarantees and things are only as they are for the moment.  When we realize things in life and life itself is temporary, we no longer take it for granted and we feel grateful. So, if you like who and what is in your life right now right this moment, take this moment to feel grateful. Gratitude starts by being present in the moment.

You can get present this moment while you are reading this.  Just look…look all around you. Take a moment longer to rest in the moment and digest it all. What do you see, hear, touch, smell, and taste?  If tomorrow, all that was no longer, who and what would you miss? How funny when we push the noise aside how easy it is to be embraced with gratitude for all our blessings. How clear it all becomes, colors are more vibrant, sounds are musical, smells are sweeter, relationships have become precious, and everything comes alive. Only, isn’t it just the same as it was before…only now we see it.

The grass is greener on the other side is a very contagious comparison syndrome. You know, someone else has something, instantly we want it and think we must have it. We believe it will make our life easier, or better, or more meaningful. Only to find out once we have it, nothing has changed. Why is it we instantly see what we are missing and miss what we already have?  It’s because the…. grass is always greener when someone else has it!!!  The simple truth is we will never be happy with what we have until we are happy with what we have. Okay, so maybe that sounds a bit redundant. It’s not! It’s so simple it’s deep. LOL! Just think about it for a moment. It is only when we are happy and are grateful for what we already have that we began to feel happy for what we have. When we give thanks and appreciate the things that already exist in our life and stop comparing ourselves to others, we find peace and happiness.

Start and end your day with words of gratitude. It might be as simple as, “I am grateful to be alive another day to celebrate what life has in store for me.” Or “Thank you for another day!”  Do you remember the old saying count your blessings? When we get in the habit of counting our blessings, we feel gratitude. Think about all the things you are grateful for such as family, friends, health, home, work, the sunshine or even the snow. Take a notebook or your computer and write down the top 10 things that make you feel grateful. Funny, how once we start, we realize how many things we must be truly grateful for…okay, maybe top 20 if you can stop there.  Funny thing, I feel a greater sense of wellbeing just writing this!   Give thanks and appreciate the things that already exist in your life!  Stop comparing yourself and your life to others and you will find peace and happiness!

September 1, 2022

A Code of Commitments!

Even the best of us can lose our way in all the noise and hubbub of the day-to-day stresses! Establishing a Code of Commitments for the practice will help the entire team keep on track…even in stressful situations when the wheels fall off!

A Code of Commitments is about having a preplanned game plan on how to react. Behaviorally, that means testing decisions and planned reactions for “integrity” that support the core values before implementing them.

Here are 4 questions to help you create your own code of conduct:

  • Is it legal?
  • Is it ethical?
  • Does it align with the practice core values?
  • Does it support each other and the patients?

I suggest a team meeting (4 hours minimal) to establish a Code of Commitments for the practice.  Start the meeting by reviewing the practice’s 4 core values.  Owner doctors you will need to have established 4 core values in order of priority.  All owner doctors must support the same 4 core values.  Ask the entire team to share how, when and where they feel the Core Values are not being supported.

Utilize a large easel pad and markers to write down all the concerns being shared.  Discuss the breakdowns that are happening.  What current attitudes and behaviors support the Core Values?  What current attitudes and behaviors need changing to support the Core Values?  The behaviors you list that support as well as the necessary changes become your new Code of Commitments!

It is very important for the We Team (leadership team) to lead by example on whatever is established as the Code of Commitments.

Here is an example of a Code of Commitments.

  • Model the waddle you want to see
  • Set and maintain high standards – no double standards
  • Support a no gossip culture
  • Communicate openly, honestly, and respectfully
  • Treat each other as well as you treat your patients
  • Resolve conflict by going to the source the same day if possible
  • Take ownership, follow through, and be accountable for your mistakes
  • Support each other and help each other succeed
  • Hold each other accountable to the practice’s standards for behavior, communication, attitude, and service!

Having a Code of Commitments will empower the entire team to interact with patients and each other with integrity!

June 30, 2022

The 5 C’s to Cultivate a Happier, Healthier, & Higher Performing Culture!

I have the privilege of working with dental teams nationwide to help them cultivate a happier, healthier, and higher performing culture.  I have created my Rise & Shine Culture Camps which is a customized practice driven focused training for the entire team.  There are 5 areas that we address to get results.   I happen to like alliteration which is why they all start with the letter C!  The 5 C’s are: Clarity, Compassion, Compromise, Celebration, and Commitment.

I have been invited to present this information and more in a half day program hosted by AADOM at their annual conference. I will offer a morning course and a repeat afternoon session on Wednesday, September 7th, 2022, in beautiful Scottsdale, Arizona.  Click on this link https://www.aadomconference.com/ to learn more about this amazing must not miss conference!

The first C is Clarity!  It is vital for the entire team to be aligned in achieving the goals of the practice.  Clarity starts with the owner doctors agreeing on and defining their 4 Core Value words and communicating those words consistently through their words, actions, and attitude.  This is really where it all starts.  If the leadership team is not aligned the rest of the team will not be aligned.  This is the most important C of all as it is the foundation of the practice culture.  Please email me at JudyKay@PracticeSolutionsInc.net to receive a sample Core Value Words.

The second C is Compassion!  There will be ups and downs and obstacles along the way.  It is easy to get along and play nice when everything goes our way.  It is much more difficult when things aren’t working, and expectations aren’t met.  That’s when we often fall into the judgment thinking of should or shouldn’t!  They should have done this, or they shouldn’t have done this etc.…  It is imperative that we stop judging and instead show compassion for our co-workers and patients.  “When you judge others, you do not define them, you define yourself.” -Earl Nightingale

We often judge others in the areas where we feel the weakest. Instead remain in curiosity mode and stay out of judgment mode.  Judgment shuts us down and divides us.  Most judgments about people are based on incomplete information.  Curiosity, on the other hand, keeps us open to the possibility that there is something about the situation that we don’t fully understand.  Whenever I start to judge people –I ask myself: “I wonder what the situation is with that person?”

We show compassion by trying to be understanding, supportive, and giving the benefit of the doubt.  We achieve this by trying to walk in the other persons’ shoes to understand their B.O.A.T. (beliefs, opinions, assumptions, truths)!  Their why!  The questions I often use is, “Help me understand why…!”

The third C is Compromise!  The team is like a large puzzle that all need to learn how to fit together.  There will be different B.0.A.T.’s amongst the team.  It is important to compromise to work well together.  It is not just the new team members that need to learn how to fit in.  The existing team members need to learn how to fit with the new team members.  The puzzle changes each time there is a change in team members.  There is more than one way!  We need to compromise and create our new way 😊!   Someone unwilling to compromise is in essence saying they are unwilling to be a team player.  If they are unwilling to be a team player, they can’t be a part of the team.  It is both a difficult and simple concept to act on.

The fourths C is Celebration!  Look for what is positive and celebrate it every day.  The more we focus on what is positive the more positive we will create.  Don’t get lost in the muck of the mundane tasks.  Instead, consider the bigger picture.  We are changing people’s lives with better function and aesthetics.  The smile is the number one connector.  Our focus creates our attitude.  Look for things to celebrate in each other and each situation.  Focus on the good and we will find more in each day.  What we look for we will see!

The fifth C is Commitment!  Stuff doesn’t just happen.  It takes focus and work.  Everyone on the team is accountable to support the practice standards.  There can be no individual opt outs.  The team is like a group of fire fighters holding a net that supports the practice standards.  If someone opts out, they are in essence taking their hands of the net.  There are consequences to every action or inaction.  The consequence becomes a culture by default instead of by design when we don’t address unsupportive behavior.   We need to commit as a team to support the practice standards in every word, action, and attitude.  We will then cultivate a happier, healthier, and higher performing culture!

Come join me Wednesday, September 7th, 2022, in beautiful Scottsdale, Arizona at AADOM’s Annual Conference to dive deeper into the 5 C’s to Cultivate a Happier, Healthier, and Higher Performing Culture!  Click on this link https://www.aadomconference.com/  to learn more about this amazing must not miss conference!

 

June 1, 2022

Co-leadership! How to lead Successfully!

What is co-leadership? Co-leadership is two or more people in charge of a team or group. They share ownership of the goals of their team but divide the roles and responsibilities.  Co-leadership has many benefits when utilized correctly.  The downside is the more leaders the more complex it becomes.

Co-leadership in a dental office may include doctors, practice administrator, team leads or any team member in a leadership position depending on the size of the practice.

Everything begins and ends with leadership.  It is what leaders do, don’t do, or allow in their culture that defines the practice culture.  The more leaders the more difficult it becomes to create and sustain a consistent message.  Here are 5 principles to build an aligned and cohesive co-leadership team.

The first co-leadership principle – It is necessary to have an aligned vision for the future of the practice/company.  I start the process by having the owner doctors choose 4 core value words and place them in order of priority.  All future decisions are based on supporting those values.  Everyone on the leadership team must live and lead those core values in words, actions, and attitudes.  Apply these core values when making decisions by using the following questions.

  • What’s in the best interests of the patients, practice, and team that supports our core values? (Specialists also add referring doctors) It can never just benefit one individual.
  • Is it practical based on time, money, and people that will still support the core values?
  • Does the precedent we are setting support our core values?
  • How passionate are we to implement change? It must be a value of 8 or above on a scale of 1 to 10 with 10 being high.

The breakdown happens when a leader decides to opt out of something they don’t agree with entirely.  It can never be 100% our way unless we work by ourselves.  It is healthy for leaders to discuss and debate behind closed doors.  However, they must come to an agreement and support that agreement in front of the team.  There will be times leaders need to support decisions even without consensus.  I often hear, “I am the doctor, I can do what I want!”  Yes, you can but not without consequences.  If leaders do not support each other, they will create division in the team and the leadership team.  Division leads to confusion, gossip, clicks and lack of accountability.  The team will choose the path of least resistance.  The bottom line is that when you have a co-leader you no longer have autonomy to make decisions.  On a side note, doctors supporting your practice administrator doesn’t mean saying do whatever you want.  It means being involved in the decision and solution process.  Practice Administrators you will become very frustrated and overwhelmed if you want more for the practice than the owner doctors.  Which is why it is so important that you are aligned with the owner doctors’ vision for the practice.

The second co-leadership principle – It is important to place people in the leadership role that shines the light on their strengths and dims their weakness.  No one is perfect.  We all have strengths as well as weaknesses.  We are only as strong as our weakest link.  Any weakness in your co-leaders will be a reflection on the entire leadership team.  Define the specific tasks for each role.  Leaders are responsible for the individual tasks of their role.  Each task must be owned by that one person to create accountability.  The more people responsible for the same task the less accountability due to assuming the other person is doing the task.  Some leaders find it difficult to let go and to not be involved in all tasks.  We must trust our co-leader to be accountable.  Be open to renegotiating your roles based on changing circumstances, growth, and ambitions.

The third co-leadership principle – Owner doctors and practice administrator(s) must make time to meet on a weekly basis.  (I refer to these specific leadership team members as the We Team) This allows for real time conversations to discuss and come to a resolution as a leadership team.  All decisions must be discussed at this meeting before implementing except for direct patient care.  Document discussion and agreements and save in a meeting journal.  Review last week’s meeting notes and confirm if all assigned tasks have been completed.  The meeting will create accountability as well as keep everyone in the loop.  Schedule the weekly meeting the same time and day of each week.  The time is reserved and is to be considered sacred.  I can hear all the excuses already.  However, it is necessary to commit to a weekly meeting if you want to co-lead successfully to build and sustain a high performing practice.  It’s time to put your ownership hat on.  Once you make it a priority it will happen.  If you don’t meet at least weekly, you will be spending extra time putting out unnecessary fires and fueling disorder, stress, and discord.

The fourth co-leadership principle – Is don’t break the chain of communication.  Here is a simple flow for chain of communication both up and down.  Please email me at judykay@practicesolutionsinc.net for a multi-location practice communication flow chart.

Owner Doctors

Practice Administrator

Team Leads and Associate Doctors

Team

The practice administrator has a weekly meeting with all team leads where they share the outcome of their We Team meeting.  Team leads are to bring any questions, suggestions, or concerns they have, or their team has for discussion and feedback at this meeting.  The practice administrator will take this information to the We Team meeting to discuss and come to a resolution.  Then back to the next lead team meeting for implementation.  I know this slows things down.  However, the end results are an informed, aligned, and cohesive team.

The fifth co-leadership principle – Expect disagreements and differences of opinions.  What many people refer to as conflict.  If you never disagree chances are someone is not being honest with their opinion.  Let go of ego.  It’s not about you and what you want.  Have a mindset of care and curiosity not judgment and criticism.  We will need to make concessions at times to move forward.

  • Utilize the questions in the first co-leadership principle to come to a decision that supports the core values.
  • Start with what you can agree on and build from there.
  • Define the end result.
  • Discuss in specifics instead of concepts.
  • Come to an agreement and write it down.
  • Support the agreement in words, actions, and attitude.

Implementing the five co-leadership principles will help you build an aligned and cohesive team!

April 1, 2022

Toxic Performers!

The current staffing shortage has created greater opportunities for toxic performers.  Maybe you even have a few!  The toxic performer is the team member who is extremely skilled at their job.  They excel in front of the doctor(s), patients, and anyone else they feel is necessary to keep their status.  They are super performers when they want to be.  That’s the performer part.  However, the toxic side is their other side.  This is the side they save for their unfortunate co-workers or anyone they deem irrelevant.

Some signs of toxic behaviors are:

  • Air of superiority
  • Cynical
  • Closed to feedback
  • Unwilling to train
  • Gossip
  • Excuses
  • Deflection
  • Sarcasm
  • Blame
  • Drama

Evaluate your current team.  Are there any team members that fit the description of a toxic performer?  Here comes the difficult part.  This person is often the right hand of the doctor or manager.  They are highly skilled and high performers.  Therefore, it is extremely difficult to even consider letting them go.  Especially with the fear of finding skilled new team members.  Instead, the toxic behavior is allowed to continue in exchange for the performer side.

I receive the following response when I ask doctors and or managers this question.

“Why do you allow the toxic performer team member to continue to be a part of the team and practice when they are unwilling to support the practice values and our toxic to their co-workers?”

“Judy Kay, you don’t understand.  They are really, really good at what they do.  I don’t have anyone else that can perform at their level.  And it is difficult to find skilled new team members.  But I would let them go if they EVER behaved that way towards the patient.”

Regardless of how good of a performer they are, keeping a toxic performer is disastrous and will sabotage your practice culture.

It only takes one toxic performer to create a culture of chaos and negativity. Toxic performers make it feel unsafe and stressful for their co-workers. The rest of the team is on alert waiting for the toxic performers next sarcastic remark, outburst, or retaliation.  Toxic performers harm the productivity and morale of everyone around them.

  • They purposely hoard information and don’t train others to their level, in fear if they did it might sacrifice their stability.
  • They play the team against each other to divide and conquer.
  • Their unsupportive actions undermine the practice values.
  • The team loses trust and respect for their doctor, manager, and co-workers.
  • The culture has become filled with favoritism and double standards.

A double standard is a rule or principle which is unfairly applied in different ways to different people.  Double standards never work.  The team is just as important as the patients.  Treat your team as well as you treat your patients.  Take care of your team and they will take care of the patients.

Three powerful assessment questions regarding behaviors:

  • Does this behavior support the practice culture values?
  • Would I accept this behavior from another team member?
  • Would I allow this behavior towards a patient?

If you answered no to all three questions…it is time to address the toxic performer’s behavior towards their co-workers.  Ask the toxic performer if they are willing to step up and be supportive of the team and culture values.  Don’t be surprised if the toxic performer makes excuses for their behavior and take it as a personal attack against them.  They will often hold grudges, blame, and complain how they are the victim.  They need to verbally agree, and their behavior change needs to immediate and consistent.  If they don’t agree or if the toxic behavior happens again, invite them to step out and no longer be a part of the team.

Never sacrifice the entire practice culture for one toxic performer regardless of their talent and productivity.  Nor allow a team member to continue to treat their co-workers poorly.  A benchmark I suggest is would you allow that same behavior towards a patient.  You will lose good team members and destroy the practice culture if you allow the toxic performer to continue their toxic behavior.  It may feel very daunting.  However, other dental offices have been in this situation and not only survived but thrived.   They found that once they let the toxic performer go other team members were able to step up.  They were no longer held back by the toxic performer.  Create a culture where the team (including doctors) treats each other as well as they treat their patients and become tremendous performers!

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