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October 1, 2014

Assumptions!

ASSUMPTIONS!

HOW CAN WE STOP MAKING ASSUMPTIONS?

WE MAKE ASSUMPTIONS EVERY MINUTE OF EVERY DAY.

SOMETHING HAPPENS AND WE INSTANTLY ASSIGN MEANING TO IT.

THAT IS AN ASSUMPTION.

 

We start imagining what other people are doing, what they’re thinking, what they’re saying about us. We invent an entire story based on assumptions and we believe it. One assumption leads to another assumption; we jump to conclusions and we take it personally. Then we point the finger and blame other people. We usually start gossiping to try to justify our assumptions. Almost all conflicts are based on false assumptions. Assumptions are nothing more than false stories that we are telling ourselves. This creates a big drama for nothing because we don’t know if it is really true.

For example, when we haven’t heard from a close friend in a while we start to wonder if anything is wrong. The more we worry about it the more reasons we find to support our belief that something is wrong. And instead of picking up the phone and calling to ask if everything is okay we justify why we shouldn’t and put the blame on them. We continue to build our story and stress. Then our friend finally calls and we find out they have just been swamped in the busyness of life! All that negative energy and drama for a story we made up from assumptions.

It may be correct or it may be incorrect. We won’t know unless we take the next step. That step is a simple three letter word. ASK! Sounds easy but it’s not. We often fear that if we ask, we may open ourselves up to an emotional reaction. I call that emotional reaction an eggshell. Eggshells spawn many of the assumptions in our lives and in our dental practices today. It’s the fear of these potential eggshells that stop us from asking and allow us to start assuming.

Some of the eggshells I am referring to are:

  • Anger
  • Judgment/Criticism
  • Retaliation
  • Hurt feelings

We can’t let fear stop us from asking if we want to avoid assumptions. We don’t know what someone meant by their actions or words or the way they said something. Sometimes even what they say or the words they use can mean something different than what we believe them to mean. And just because someone felt a certain way in the past doesn’t mean they still feel the same. Stop making assumptions and start asking questions regardless of potential eggshells.

When you get that twinge in your gut and you think “Hmmm – I wonder what they meant by that, or I wonder why they haven’t…?” Or you find yourself saying “I think they meant this” – you don’t know! Stop yourself immediately from wondering and speculating and ASK! You will be surprised how many of your initial assumptions are incorrect once you hear their intent.

Ask with care, concern and respect. Some simple questions to ask are:

  • I am not quite sure what you meant, please tell me more?
  • I am not quite sure what happened. Can we talk about it?
  • Is everything okay?
  • Are you okay?

Continue to respectfully ask questions until you understand the other person’s true intent. If you are still thinking “I think they meant…” you are assuming. It is important to continue to ask more questions to achieve a deeper understanding!

September 1, 2014

Engaging Success! Part III

September 2014

Engaging Success Part III!

This month we will cover the final three strategies to help you get your team engaged and bridge the gap between potential and performance! Just in case you missed the last two newsletters… here are the statistics to support why getting your team engaged is not fluff stuff! It’s how I help teams nationwide create a happy, healthy and high performing culture!

2013 Gallup Polls show 70% of Americans are not engaged at work! Which equals about 2/3rds of the team in an average dental practice. The downfall of not engaging your team:

  •  22% Loss of Profitability
  • 21% Loss of Productivity
  • 45% More Turnover
  • 48% More Team Safety Incidents
  • 37% More Absenteeism
  • 41% More Patient Safety Incidents
  • 41% Less Quality of Care

 

Open to Opinions

We encourage open communication to allow everyone to voice their opinions pertaining to the patients and the practice.   Doctors, managers and team members are often surprised when a co-worker who never participates starts speaking up at our workshop.  I have often found that when a team member doesn’t speak up it’s because they feel they have been shot down in the past.  They believe their opinion didn’t count so they stopped sharing.  When team members feel their opinion is welcomed and valuable they become more engaged.


 

Everyone on the team has the right to express their opinion and be heard without being criticized or made to feel stupid.  Instead share constructive feedback with the team member why you feel it may or may not work.  Being open to opinions means we at least consider the idea.  Considering a team member’s input can often lead to better decision-making.  This is because the team members are often the ones directly doing the task, process or service and understand the limitations as well as the possibilities.  When team members feel they are involved in decisions, they take greater ownership for the outcomes.  Ownership is a sign they are engaged!       

 

Constructive Feedback

We actually schedule feedback time with team members. If we don’t schedule the time chances are it won’t happen. Many offices schedule annual employee performance reviews. Meeting and discussing progress, achievements and goals on an annual basis is not enough to get engagement. How engaged or involved would you be in a relationship where you only had a deeper conversation once a year?

What works well is a quick (5 to 10 minute) monthly or quarterly Checkup with the manager or doctor touching base on their progress, achievements and goals. Questions to ask are:

  • What where your goals for this period?
  • What accomplishments would you like to celebrate?
  • What are your goals or projects for the next period?
  • How can I best support you?

We also establish an open door meeting policy where team members can request to schedule time as needed.  Scheduling time helps avoid constant interruptions and creates a more focused agenda.  Giving timely constructive feedback will help keep your team engaged.

 

http://youtu.be/GvoLvQtF0c8

Opportunity for Personal and Professional Growth

We create opportunities for every team member to continue to challenge themselves to learn and grow both in their personal and professional life.  We ask them to create a list of topics they would like to learn more about in the next year at their annual review.  The doctor/manager also add topics to the list based on what they feel will benefit the team member most.  Together the team member and doctor/manager prioritize the list and agree on completion dates.  The progress is reviewed at their monthly or quarterly Checkup meeting.     


 

We also start a monthly book club in the practice focused on personal growth.  Everyone on the team is asked to participate in suggesting books.  Great books for team meeting discussions are the Simple Truths books at www.simpletruths.comOr my book Rise & Shine and soon my next book Ta-Dah, www.practicesolutionsinc.net/book.html!  The book is discussed at the team meeting.  Lengthier books can be discussed in chapters.  There is open dialogue on the benefits and how it can be applied in the practice as well as their personal life.  Creating the opportunity to learn and grow will help to keep your team excited and engaged.


 

Engage your team by being open to opinions, giving timely constructive feedback and creating an opportunity to learn and grow!

Contact Judy Kay today if you would like to learn more about how she can help you get your team ENGAGED and WORKING together to build a happy healthy and high performing culture!

February 1, 2014

Dysfuntional to Dynamic!

 

My newsletters are often a reflection of what I observe when working with dental teams.  The phrase “we are just like one big family” is used by many dental teams to describe their office environment.  One would assume it be a positive statement.  However, I have found in many cases the opposite is true.  They were indeed like one big family…one big dysfunctional family! This month’s newsletter is dedicated to changing your team’s relationships from dysfunctional to dynamic!  

 

The dictionary defines dysfunction as a behavior pattern that undermines team stability.  Some examples of dysfunctional behaviors are being tardy, unreliable, dishonest, unsupportive, disrespectful or unkind. When I was in grade school we received progress reports or as we called them report cards.  There was an entire section on conduct.  Conduct was broken down into 5 areas. 

  • Observes regulations
  • Works and plays well with others
  • Respect for property
  • Respect for authority
  • Is courteous in speech and manner 

You either received and S for satisfactory or a U for unsatisfactory to rate your behavior.  Thankfully I received all S’s!  I know I am really dating myself here. Many of us seem to have forgotten or maybe have never been taught that we are responsible for our conduct at work. It is not the doctor(s) and manager’s responsibility to make us play well with others!  It is OURS!   Here are three behaviors to shift dysfunctional patterns into dynamic patterns and start playing well together.

Filtering – For some reason we feel once we say we are a family we don’t need to filter what we say to each other.  We justify it by saying we are just being honest or we have to be authentic to our feelings.  After all we can’t help how we feel!  (Oh really…read my December 2013 newsletter) We lose our politeness and kindness towards each other.  Our words are often direct and hurtful.  We believe because we are like family it is okay to behave in this manner.  That our co-workers should just be able to handle whatever we say.  The reality is words cut deep and can destroy even real families.  Don’t we all know someone who no longer speaks to certain family members…maybe even you?  It is important to think before you speak to avoid jeopardizing the relationship.  Be respectful of how the other person might feel.  Treat each other with the same kindness and politeness that you would if you were on your best behavior with a stranger.  After all why share the best of you only with strangers…why not give your best to those you work with and care about most.  

Apologizing – If you make a mistake, be sincere and apologize as soon as possible. Don’t try to hide it, ignore it or pretend it doesn’t matter.  When we don’t apologize for our mistakes or wrongdoings as they happen we leave unresolved issues.  It is human nature to store unresolved issues.  Some of us our so good at storing our issues that we have an entire storage unit full.  Until finally one day a blow up happens…and the storage unit gates fly open and every unresolved issue comes hurling out.  Try to apologize the same day if at all possible to resolve issues and keep them from being stored.

Forgiving – In order to move forward and work together in a functional relationship we need to forgive each other.  I can’t tell you how many times I observe two team members who don’t work well together anymore because of something that happened years ago.  I would like you to consider forgiveness in this light.  Imagine the worst thing you have ever done in your life.  What if it was written on your forehead in permanent marker for all the world to see?   That was your reputation and what you were held accountable to forever.  In essence that is what we are doing when we are unwilling to forgive others.  We are holding others accountable for the worst behavior they ever did to us.  The best way to forgive is to stop trying to agree on who was at fault in the past.  Instead focus on the future and what you can change or do differently to make the relationship work.  

Implementing these three positive behaviors will help you change your dental family from dysfunctional to a dynamic!

Contact Judy Kay today if you would like to learn more about how she can help you change dysfunctional team relationships into dynamic team relationships!

December 1, 2012

Finding Joy!

Learn how to have Clarity, Simplicity and Joy in your Holiday Season; Chuck it, Change it, Rearrange it or Delegate it!

October 31, 2012

An Interview with Kevin Henry, Editor of Dental Economics!

Judy Kay discussing how to get rid of drama in the office with Kevin Henry, Editor of Dental Economics! 

March 29, 2012

Toxic Attitudes

Attention all drama queens, pot stirrers and problem makers!  This one is about you!  Watch the video below!

 

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