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June 1, 2023

Get Happier! Part 1

Get happy!  Fame, money, stuff, or even other people can’t make us happy.  Just look at all the famous and wealthy people who are miserable.  Happiness doesn’t have anything to do with what we have, where we’ve been, or who we are. Happiness comes from within.  We are happy when we choose to be happy.  We have a choice:  to enjoy our lives or to find fault.  We truly do write our own stories of happiness.

“Every moment you make a choice of what you want to keep, and what you want to let go of…and that’s how you write your story!” ~ Judy Kay Mausolf

Here are the first two of four strategies to get happier!

Focus Power!

We get happier when we change our focus to positive.  You can be happy even when life seems difficult.  Here is the big secret about staying happy and positive in difficult times.  It does not take any superpowers or anything special.  It is simply a clear understanding of the power of focus.

“Our focus creates our attitude.” ~ Judy Kay Mausolf

Our attitude is a learned behavior.  Having a positive attitude is a skill.  If you focus on the positive, you will have a positive attitude.  If you focus on the negative, you will have a negative attitude.  When you hear people say they are in a bad mood, it is because they choose to linger in the negative emotions.  The physical part of any emotion only lasts thirty seconds or less.  Any emotion after thirty seconds comes from hanging on to the emotion.   Woe is me people, or what I refer to as wallowers, choose to be victims of their emotions.  They wallow in them like a mud bath and tell everyone how miserable they are in hopes of eliciting sympathy.  They actually enjoy the drama and negative emotions.

The science behind the thirty seconds of emotion pertains to fight or flight.  Our immediate responses to negative or positive emotional stimuli are the result of a chemical reaction in our brains.  Responses such as a rush of adrenaline lump in our throats, being out of breath, a dry mouth, sweat running down our backs, faces turning red, nervous laughter, flailing, and kicking, and tears welling up in our eyes – these responses happen in the first five seconds.  In the next 25 seconds, we battle to take control of our bodies.  It is best not to suppress nor deny the emotion, but to let ourselves feel it, observe the physical effect on us, mentally step aside from it, and let it go.

We can choose not to be negative, angry, hurt, stressed, frustrated, grumpy or whatever.  It is always our choice.  Instead, focus on finding a solution and a reason to be happy and feel good in every situation.

Action Plan – Focus Power:

Here are action steps to achieve Focus Power:

  • Whenever you feel stressed and, in the fight, or flight zone, breathe deeply and count to ten, slowly for thirty seconds.
  • Feel and observe the physical reaction and then let it go.
  • Identify three positives in the situation. Even in the most horrific circumstances there are positives.
  • Shift your focus from what is negative or missing to what is positive and present.
  • Spend 10% of your time focused on the problem and 90% on the solution.

Choice Power

We get happier when we choose to be happier.  Have you ever thought, “I was in great mood until “___________” happened”?  When we allow “___________” (whatever the blank is at the moment) to affect how we feel, we are in essence relinquishing our power and allowing circumstances to control our emotions.  If we allow our circumstances to control our emotions, we become a victim of our circumstances.  The truth is that circumstances don’t dictate how we feel – we do!  It is always our choice!

“Happiness is always our choice!” ~ Judy Kay Mausolf

Action Plan ~ Choice Power

  • Wake up.
  • Affirm it is going to be an awesome day.
  • Choose to be positive regardless of how you feel.
  • Choose words and actions that have a positive impact.

Implement the first two strategies and you will get happier!  Tune in next month to learn the about strategy three and four to get happier!

May 1, 2023

Stop Walking On Eggshells!

I have the privilege of working with dental teams nationwide to help them co-create a happier, healthier, and higher performing culture.  There are so many moving parts in a routine dental practice’s day. The schedule, among other things, doesn’t always happen as planned.  There are even some days when it feels as if the wheels may have fallen off.  We need to as a team be able openly discuss what is working and what is not.  The obstacles are the eggshells that get in the way.

What are eggshells?  Eggshells are the fragile feelings that arise when we try to resolve a conflict with another.  These fragile feelings are a result of what we perceive based on our past personal experiences and not necessarily the other person’s intent.  Some of the fragile feelings I am referring to are fear, anger, judgment, retaliation, desire to be liked, insecurity, nothing changes, peer pressure, hurt feelings, disrespect, it’s not nice, or it’s not my problem.

These eggshells stop many of us from addressing the elephants (the unstated issues or concerns) in the room.  We create barriers between each other by laying our eggshells all around ourselves and worrying about stepping on those that others have laid around themselves.  We believe if we talk about what is not working or what is a problem or a concern we will step on their eggshells.  Almost everything becomes too uncomfortable or off-limits to discuss.  So, we don’t!  Instead, we just keep everything inside to avoid the eggshells and the practice culture deteriorates.  The chance to make good things happen, (better results, better relationships, and more responsibility) disappears.  What appears instead is a herd of elephants.  Everyone knows they are there and yet no one will talk about them for fear of stepping on an eggshell.

The problem is, if we don’t discuss the issues as they happen, they don’t go away.  Instead, the issues become elephants and the herd continues to grow until it takes over the entire practice.  We end up tiptoeing around each other’s eggshells and pretending the elephants don’t exist.  Or gossip grows out of frustration.  Communication between team members becomes emotionally charged.  The conflicts continue to grow; resolution becomes almost impossible.  The practice culture becomes stressful and negative.  This emotional stress and negative environment can drive even the best of team members to leave the practice!

To overcome the eggshells, we need to first acknowledge they exist.  Have a team meeting to talk about the eggshells in the office.  Have each team member identify which eggshells they surround themselves with most often.  I recently held a team meeting where each team member identified their eggshells.  There was a variety of answers; desire to be liked, hurt feelings, judgment, criticism, retaliation, and nothing ever changes.  They differ for each team member because of their past experiences.

Once the eggshells have been identified, discuss the importance of talking about issues as they happen regardless of their existence.  This proactive communication helps to prevent and remove the elephants from the room.  Reinforce the message; we are all working together towards the same goal of a healthy, happy, and high performing practice culture.  To accomplish this, we must give each other a break and believe that our other team members’ intents are good.  We need to talk about the issues even if talking about issues creates eggshells like hurt feelings, judgment, or criticism.

We need to stop assuming we know what someone meant by their actions or words or the way they said something.  Sometimes even what they say or the words they use can mean something different than what we believe them to mean.  Approach with care and concern to help relieve tension and avoid defensiveness.  Respectfully ask questions until you understand the other person’s true intent.  Here are two questions I recommend based on issue.

  • I am not quite sure what you mean, please tell me more.
  • I am not quite sure what happened, please tell me more.

Once we understand each other’s intent our trust grows, and it becomes easier to talk about the issues and resolve conflict.  Resolving conflict as it occurs will help to prevent elephants and promote a happy, healthy, high performing team environment.

Be a good egg; approach and be approachable!

March 1, 2023

How to Have Difficult Conversations – Approacher-Approahcee

There are hundreds of moving parts in the day-to-day activities of a dental practice.  Stuff happens even in the most successful practices.  It is vital that the entire team is empowered to discuss and resolve issues.  However, the fear of confrontation and conflict can often prevent many team members from having necessary difficult conversations.  Avoiding the short-term discomfort of having difficult conversations often causes long term dysfunction.  When we don’t address issues as they happen, they will spiral out of control.  We have all experienced something little grow into something big.

It’s time to have the difficult conversations to sustain a happier, healthier, and higher performing service culture.   The conversation includes two roles.  The Approacher(s) and Approachee(s).  The Approacher(s) is the person conveying and inquiring and the Approachee it the person receiving and responding.

 

The Approacher’s Role

A difficult conversation is always in private and starts with positive communication from the Approacher.  The Approacher shares what they appreciate about the other person.  They build up instead of tear down by focusing on the other person’s strengths.  A positive conversation has a minimum of a three to one ratio.  Three positives for every one growth opportunity.  Research shows that exceptional relationships have a five to one ratio.  You may be thinking; what if I can’t find 5 positives.  Every person has a least 5 strengths you can highlight!  We will discover their strengths when we shift our focus from their weaknesses to their strengths.  How ironic that our strengths are just taken for granted and minimized whereas our weaknesses are highlighted.

Be specific instead of generalizing.  Focus more on objective points than subjective opinions. Just saying “I don’t like it or you’re doing this wrong” is not helpful. On the other hand, stating the specific strengths or skills you would like to see developed is helpful.

Don’t make it personal.  Talk about issue not the person.  Avoid saying, “you need to”.  Start the conversation with the word I instead of saying you.  For example, “I noticed,” “I have seen,” “I observed,” or when sharing feedback from others, “I have had reported to me.” “I” conversations are issue-focused instead of person-focused.  Always consider how your words may impact the other person.   Ask yourself; how can I say what I need to say and be respectful of how they may feel.

Keep your energy neutral and come with a mindset of care, curiosity, and concern instead of judgment and criticism.  Never have a conversation when you are angry or frustrated or your emotions will rule the conversation.  Instead take a few minutes to process and get calm. Start out by making eye contact with the other person.  Be mindful of tone and body language as well as words. A tone of care and concern communicates a sense of importance and provides the appropriate level of sincerity to the conversation.  Avoid using sarcasm or derogatory words or the content of the conversation will get lost in the harshness. Once you say something it cannot be taken back. An apology doesn’t mean we forget.  The old nursery rhyme that goes sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me, is not true.  Words can destroy even the best of relationships.

Break your feedback down into key points. Don’t give your feedback as one big lump. Break it down into various key points, then give your feedback point by point.

Give examples of each point. What are the exact issues, situations, or examples where the person exhibits the behaviors you highlighted? There is no need to highlight every single one. – just disclosing a couple of examples per point will be sufficient. The purpose is to bring the person’s awareness to things which he/she may not be aware of and clearly illustrate what you mean.

Be timely!  Try to address issues/concerns as they happen or within 24 hours of the occurrence. I have actually seen employers make a list of everything an employee has done wrong or needs to improve on for the year and go over it at their annual review.  It reminds me of Santa Claus’s naughty list!   It’s no wonder why reviews get a bad rap!

Ask the other person what they need from you (communication, support, training, practice) to be able to achieve the desired results.  Together discuss and agree on a resolution.

 

The Approachee’s Role

The aproachee is to start out by just listening and not taking offense.  The team must be able to talk about what’s not working to resolve issues.  It is important to recognize that the approacher’s intent is good and to realize that it is not easy to approach someone.

Listen intently before responding.  Make eye contact with the other person.  Instead of defending, deflecting, or blaming someone else consider how your actions or lack of actions affected the outcome.   Be honest with your response.

Acknowledge you heard and understand them.  Never assume.  If you are unsure ask questions until you clearly understand.  If you are thinking I think they mean this…ask more questions.

Don’t take it personal.  If the issue pertains to the patients, the practice, or the team it is necessary to address.  It can be difficult to hear when we are not meeting the standards or expectations.  However, it is necessary to address to create and sustain a happier, healthier and higher performing culture.

Take it seriously.  It may not seem important or be a priority to you, but it is for the other person.

Control your emotions.  If you are upset don’t just walk off in anger or frustration.  Instead, let them know that you need a little time to process the information they shared, and you will respond later that day.  Try respond within 24 hours.

If you are on the receiving end of anger or frustration, ask the person if they are okay.  This is their cue to reset their energy to calm and neutral.  A response of frustration, sigh or rolling of the eyes, may actually be inward focused and yet can feel directed outward.  If you are feeling attacked or uncomfortable let them know.  For example, you seem frustrated or angry is that directed towards me.

Share what you need (communication, support, training, practice) to be able achieve the desired results.  Together discuss and agree on a solution and make a commitment.

Have the difficult conversations to sustain a happier, healthier, and higher performing service culture!

December 30, 2021

Conversation Versus Confrontation!

CONVERSATION VERSUS CONFRONTATION!

I have the privilege of facilitating R.I.S.E. & Shine Culture Camps for dental teams nationwide!  Click this link https://www.practicesolutionsinc.net/culture-camp.html to learn more about R.I.S.E. & Shine Culture Camps!

The first day of Culture Camp is spent speaking to each team member as well as observing the practice flow.  I ask the same question to everyone.  The question I ask is, “If I could wave a magic wand and make things easier or better what would I change?”  The question opens the dialogue.  Most responses include concerns with doctor or team relationship(s).  I ask if they have tried to discuss it with the person whom they have the concerns.  The response is almost universal.  “No, I don’t like confrontation!”

 

 

There is a big difference between a conversation and a confrontation.  We can ask anyone anything if we are coming from a place of curiosity, care, and concern instead of judgment, criticism, or blame.  It is a confrontation when you are approaching someone with the intent to judge, compare, criticize, or blame.  The difference between a conversation versus a confrontation is based on your approach and your intent.  Be mindful of your energy and intent.  What are the results you are desiring?

The purpose of a conversation is to have a fact finding or fact sharing discussion.  The Approacher (the person initiating the conversation) must be mindful of energy, words, tone, and body language.  Never approach someone to address a concern when you are angry or unable to control your emotions or it will end up being a confrontation.  Approach with a question(s) to simply understand the “why” and not necessarily to resolve.  You may or may not be able to come to a resolution during the conversation.  It may take time for one or both parties to process through reflection and consideration of the other person.  Allowing time to process will remove the stress of having to immediately come to an agreement.  We also don’t want to sweep it under the rug and pretend it doesn’t exist while we silently stew over the situation.  The goal is to resolve within 24 to 48 hours if possible.  If you feel the need to complain to someone else (venting – which is a nice word for gossip) than it is important to approach the source and have a conversation.

The conversation is always in private and starts with positive clear communication.

Be specific instead of generalizing. Focus more on objective points than subjective opinions.  Just saying “I don’t like it or you’re doing this wrong” is not helpful. On the other hand, stating the specific strengths or skills you would like to see developed is helpful.

Don’t make it personal. Talk about issue not the person. Avoid saying, “you need to”.   Start the conversation with the word I instead of saying you. For example, “I noticed,” “I have seen,” “I observed,” “I am not quite sure what happened,” “Help me understand,” or when sharing feedback from others, “I have had reported to me.” “I” conversations are issue-focused instead of person-focused. Always consider how your words may impact the other person. Ask yourself; how can I say what I need to say and be respectful of how they may feel.

Break your feedback down into key points. Don’t give your feedback as one big lump. Break it down into various key points, then give your feedback point by point.  Give examples of each point. What are the exact issues, situations, or examples where the person exhibits the behaviors you highlighted? There is no need to highlight every single one.  Just disclosing a couple of examples per point will be sufficient. The purpose is to bring the person’s awareness to things which he/she may not be aware of and clearly illustrate what you mean.

Ask the other person what they need from you (communication, support, training, practice) to be able to achieve the desired results. Together discuss and agree on a resolution.

Life will be filled with concerns of situations and other people.  The confidence and skill to have timely conversations will help resolve whatever arises.

June 1, 2021

My Way or The Highway!

Our success in life depends greatly on our relationships in life!  Our relationships are the result of how well we communicate and collaborate in our personal and our professional lives.  When we communicate openly, positively, and effectively we inspire connections and build sincere, strong, sustaining relationships. Our ceiling of success then becomes like the old expression, “Sky’s the limit”.

What often gets in the way and sabotages successful relationships is our personal beliefs of right and wrong.

Most of our beliefs can be traced back to our early years.  I’m the youngest of seven and am blessed with a great family.  I grew up on a farm in North Dakota. My past experiences will differ greatly from those who were not raised in the same environment.  Our expectations of right and wrong will vary and may even conflict based on our past experiences.

When we interact with others, we are always coming from a place filled with our own experiences. Our expectations differ because of our unique and individual beliefs, opinions, and assumptions based on our experiences. These expectations become our personal truths upon which we base judgments of right and wrong. To help you remember the concept, see the first letters of each word; it spells out the word B.O.A.T. Beliefs, Opinions, Assumptions, therefore, are Truths based on our experiences.

We all have unique and individual experiences, yet we expect each other to think, act, and respond the same. These are some false expectations that can get us into trouble.

  • Others must behave in the same manner as we do, or their behavior is wrong.
  • Another person’s behavior must mean the same as ours if we did that same behavior.
  • We get in a disagreement because others disagree with our opinion (after all we are right and want it our way)!

These are examples of expectations based on personal truths. Once we understand that our personal truths (how we judge the world by what is right and wrong) are based on the unique and individual experiences we have, we can no longer believe that our answer is the only right answer.

Our personal truths dictate our right!  We may be right based on the current extent of our experiences.  However, there is a whole big universe out there filled with experiences we have yet to meet.  Right and wrong are really arbitrary.  The more knowledge and understanding we have the more we will realize how ambiguous right and wrong become.  In our current state of affairs, it is very difficult to really know what is true or a manipulation of the truth.  When we continue to explore, we will find there is always more than one right way.

I used to love listening to Paul Harvey’s The Rest of the Story.  The Rest of the Story was a Monday-through-Friday radio program originally hosted by Paul Harvey.  The Rest of the Story consisted of stories presented as little-known or forgotten facts on a variety of subjects with some key element of the story (usually the name of some well-known person) held back until the end. The broadcasts always concluded with a variation on the tag line “And now you know the rest of the story.”

Be open to the more of the story instead of stubbornly attaching to your beliefs.  Avoid making assumptions and filling in the gap based on your B.O.A.T.!  Ask questions until you uncover and understand the root of the belief, the why behind the story.  Here are some good questions to ask when you are in disagreement.

  • Where did you learn this belief?
  • Tell me why you believe this to be right?
  • Tell me why you feel so strongly about this?

More importantly, do a little soul searching first to understand your beliefs before you question other’s beliefs.  Here are triggering questions to ask yourself to uncover your why.

  • Where did I learn this belief?
  • Is this belief based on truth or illusion?
  • How important is this belief?
  • How this belief affecting me?
  • Do I still need this belief (how relevant is it now)?

Let go of thinking I have to, you must, they should, and it has to be!  These are the words we use to judge others.  When we think we know more or better than someone else we are setting ourselves up for a clash of beliefs.  We become too attached to our own point of view and that others must share it.    Once we become too attached to an idea we lose respect both for ourselves and others.  Sometimes a belief can even become more important than the other people.  It is the root of extremism and fanatics.

The world is filled with different beliefs and different ways.  Who says we all have to always agree.  More importantly we need to respect each other and work together for the better of all mankind.  I love what my big sis Lorraine taught me years ago.  It is okay to agree to disagree.  We can stick to our right or we can be open to infinite possibilities!

March 1, 2021

A Line Sand Day!

A Line In The Sand Day!

If you are reading this, you miraculously survived 2020.  2020 was a crazy ride that brought a combination of challenges that nobody would have believed could have happened.  For some it might have felt like the end was coming.  But we survived. We endured the challenges, and some of us even discovered new strengths and became even better. We adapted and made concessions, but we are still here.  Which is reason enough to celebrate with a thank you, amen or a TA-DAH!

The dark side of 2020 was comprised of negativity, uncertainty, fear, stress, anger, judgment, and blame, etc..  Many of us were hoping 2021 would magically change everything.  While the calendar might have turned a new page, much of our reality is continuing to be the same as we start 2021.  It’s time to reset and take action.  It’s time to let go of those dark emotions and move forward to a happier, healthier and higher performing 2021!

A line in the sand day is the perfect way to reset for 2021.  A line in the sand day is the day we decide to wipe the slate clean and start fresh.  Let go of the past and focus on the future.

We need to be able to let go of some of the things that happened if we want to work together successfully.  Because stuff happens and will continue happen.  A line in the sand day will allow the team to move forward and work together in a cohesive, happy, healthy and high performing culture!

It starts with being able to forgive and move on.  Let go of the things that happened and focus on how not to replicate them in the future we become a creator of our life.  If we choose to hang onto the things that happened to us and choose not to move on, we become a victim of our past.  I would much rather be a creator of my future than a victim of my past.

Let’s say I have a disagreement at work with someone and we aren’t getting along.  Co-workers don’t get involved with other team member’s dramas or you escalate the drama unless you are the doctor or manager or whoever handles conflict resolution in your practice.

It’s our job to work together well with our co-workers the moment we step across the threshold to start our day.  It’s each team member’s responsibility to figure out what they need to do to work together successfully.  Meet with any team member you are having the difficult problem with.  Extend the olive branch and openly discuss what you need from each other to work together successfully.  Focus on big picture goals first which are the core values of our practice.  Find what you agree on and build from there.  Be open and willing to compromise and agree on a process.  It’s not my way or your way it’s our way that supports the core values of the practice and is in the best interests of the patients, practice and team!  Not any one individual.  We make agreements.  We hold each other accountable and we support each other.  There are no individual opt outs.

The success of a practice is based on the success of the team.  We succeed as a team or we fail as a team.  If we run into hiccups, we review as a team and adjust what is needed to stay relevant.

I suggest a line in the sand day on a yearly basis.  It will enable your team to work together in a calm and cohesive manner and let go of the drama in the past.  Implement your line in the sand day and make 2021 your best year yet!

Contact me if you would like help implementing your Line in The Sand Day!

February 1, 2021

 Bye Bye to Bullying Behaviors!  

 Bye Bye to Bullying Behaviors!  

I have the privilege of facilitating Rise & Shine Culture Camps for dental teams nationwide!  The Culture Camp is focused on co-creating a happier, healthier, and higher performing service culture!  Each Culture Camp varies greatly as they are customized to fit the specific needs of the practice culture.

I often observe behaviors of team members and doctors that undermine the culture.  In many cases unbeknownst to the person.   They are unaware of how negatively their behavior affects the team, practice, and patients.   A conversation to enlighten awareness is often enough to halt the unhealthy behavior.

However, there are other toxic behaviors that are intentional such as pot stirring, gossiping, and bullying!  This message will be focused on Bullying.

The dictionary defines Bullying as the use of force, coercion, or threat, to abuse, aggressively dominate or intimidate. The behavior is often repeated and habitual. One essential prerequisite is the perception (by the bully or by others) of an imbalance of physical or social power. This imbalance distinguishes bullying from conflict.[1] Bullying is a subcategory of aggressive behavior characterized by the following three criteria: (1) hostile intent, (2) imbalance of power, and (3) repetition over a period of time.[2] Bullying is the activity of repeated, aggressive behavior intended to hurt another individual, physically, mentally, or emotionally.  A bully deep down is insecure and fearful.  They fight these emotions by causing fear in others. Anyone can become a bully if they are fearful enough.

Most bully’s start out as a toxic performer.  A toxic performer is a team member who excels at their job and is toxic to their co-workers!  They are often told they are the best assistant or best hygienist etc. and start to consider themselves indispensable.  They have a Jekyll and Hyde behavior.  Doctors and managers make excuses for the toxic performer’s behavior.  They allow/accept it as a tradeoff for their skills and work performance.  I often hear doctors say, “I know Susie is difficult to work with.  We have even lost a few good team members because of her.  However, she is so good with our patients.   No one can do her job like she does.  If she ever treated patients like that, of course she would be gone!”   Excusing and justifying the negative behavior is what empowers toxic performers to continue them.  Left unchecked theses negative behaviors will escalate to bullying.

It is vital for the health of the practice culture to establish a standard for the practice declaring that the team must treat each other as well or better than they treat their patients to be a part of your team.  No exclusions and no exceptions.  Either they stop their negative behaviors, or they are no longer invited to be a part of the team.  Let them take their toxicity somewhere else.   We must never allow bullying in our practice.

We know who the bully or bullies are if we are on the receiving end.  But how do we know if we are the bully?  Bully is such a strong word, so we often avoid using it.  Read on to see if you demonstrate any of the following bullying behaviors.

 

Domination/Control Issues

As I mentioned, bullies are insecure and fear that others will find out.  They are filled with N.E.T.’s (not enough thoughts).  Not good enough, pretty enough, strong enough, smart enough or powerful enough etc…  They are driven to prove to everyone, mostly themselves, that they are.  They worry if they lose control they will get hurt.  They dominate others to maintain control.

Reflect to identify your control issues and find the underlying reason you feel the need to control everything and everyone around you.  Confront your insecurities and fears and change the internal dialogue to enough thoughts!

Emotional Reactors

Bullies are emotional reactors.  They are not in control of their emotions; anger quickly and lash out instead of taking time to understand.   Fear and anger can override better judgment.  There is very little to prevent a bully from acting on those emotions.  They may pride themselves on being direct when in truth their reaction is instead brusque. I refer to their reaction as The Emotional Reaction Cycle.  The Emotional Reaction Cycle is when something happens, meaning is assigned, the meaning generates emotions, the emotions drive a reaction.  The cycle can be stopped by respectfully asking to understand instead of assigning meaning and reacting brusquely.

Superiority Complex

Bullies often struggle with a superiority complex which promotes treating others as inferior.  They believe they are mentally, economically, socially, racially, or physically superior.  Their beliefs lead to lack of empathy and justification of dehumanizing actions.

Dehumanizing is when we stop seeing someone as another human being and instead categorize them by their religious, economic, social, and political affiliations, etc.  It is easier to be insensitive, degrading, disrespectful, and rude etc. to someone we have pigeonholed.  We identify and connect with certain groups and become intolerant and disconnect from other groups.

News Media and Social Media have become master pot stirrers trying to enrage and divide groups by planting explosive innuendos.  Much of their hype scraps end up being rumors and false information.

Instead have empathy and take time understand (research) other point of views.  When we interact with others, we are always coming from a place filled with our own experiences. Our expectations differ because of our unique and individual beliefs, opinions, and assumptions based on our experiences. These expectations become our personal truths upon which we base judgments of right and wrong. To help you remember the concept, see the first letters of each word; it spells out the word B.O.A.T. Beliefs, Opinions, Assumptions, therefore, are Truths based on our experiences.

It is important that we as individuals make a personal commitment to be open, respectful, and understanding of each other’s B.O.A.T.; it is what will enable us to communicate and interact effectively.  Choose to communicate with each other in a rational and reasonable manner.  Who knows, you may even shift your B.O.A.T.!  Always consider how you might make the other person feel.  Ask yourself, “How can I say what I need to say while still respecting how I make the other person feel?”  Here is a link to watch a video of me presenting on B.O.A.T.! https://youtu.be/xanv–CB2CY

Victim Mentality

Bullies refuse to accept the responsibility for their own actions and instead will shift blame to the someone or something else.   They don’t see their bullying behaviors as their fault.  Instead, they blame it on to the person they are bullying, the situation or other people.  “They made me act this way!” is a common excuse from bullies.  They see themselves as the victim in this case.  Even more incredulous is some bullies believe they are a hero because they were just protecting the practice or patients.  We choose our behaviors.  No one makes us act a certain way.  Be proactive and choose how you will show up each day!

I can help you!  Book a Rise & Shine Culture Camp and say bye bye to bullying behaviors.

October 1, 2020

How to Thrive as The New Kid on The Block!  Part 1

How to Thrive as The New Kid on The Block!  Part 1

Congratulations your the new kid on the block!  You are a recent dental graduate who just got hired as the new associate to work with Dr Wonderful and her team!  It’s your first glorious day!  You are ready to take on the world and deliver exceptional service and care.  Oh, but wait a minute.  There are these people you now must rely on…called your team!  There was no mention of team relationships.  No one told you in school that you were going to be dependent a team.  You were just planning on focusing on dentistry.  Surprise!  That’s not how it works.  The success of a practice is largely based on how well you work together as a team.  So how do you build happy, healthy, and high performing relationship with an existing team.  Some of who you may have not hired in the first place.

It is important to remember that you are the outsider coming into their world.  It’s like being the new kid on the block.  You must figure out how to fit in with the existing team culture.  Fitting in takes time and patience.  The team is going to check you out because they don’t know you or trust you.  They will be watching your every move to see if you will fit in.

The first step to fitting in is to focus on building confident trust relationships with each team member.  The dictionary defines trust as instinctive unquestioning belief in and reliance upon something.  The trust I am suggesting is not one of blind faith but instead one of confidence!  Confident trust is based on consistency!   Consistency of good reasons to trust based on significant past evidence and experiences.

Think of the people in your life that you confidently trust.  Take a moment to reflect why you feel confident in trusting them.  Confident trust does not just happen overnight.  It takes time to nurture and grow.  However, breaking one’s trust can happen in a heartbeat.  The great news is that trust can be rebuilt.  It takes a sincere daily commitment to be transparent, consistent and realistic.  An actionable and measurable process is to assess your every action, attitude, and conversation by checking off the following list.

*             Am I being transparent

*             Am I being consistent

*             Am I being realistic

*             Am I doing what I said I would do when I said I would do it

 

Some examples of behaviors that build confident trust are:

 

*             Be transparent by keeping the team in the loop

*             Be consistent with daily tasks

*             If you have a concern talk to the person

*             Help when you see help is needed

*             Ask for help when help is needed

*             Ask don’t assume

*             Take ownership – do what you say you will do when you say you will

*             Focus on the greater good instead of WIIFM (What’s in it for me)

*             Don’t gossip

*             Tell the truth and be compassionate

*             Don’t be late or absent for trivial reasons

 

The second step to fitting in is to learn the current systems and processes.  Spend time talking with the doctor and each team member to learn why they do what they do.  For at least the first 90 days immerse yourself in learning their ways instead of making suggestions.  It will give you time to build trust while you learn.  The team is often suspicious of the new doctor.  They are afraid the new doctor is going to want to change everything.  After all you’re the new kid on the block…you should have to fit into their practice.  Many team members may be older than you.  Show them you respect their experience and expertise by being open to their guidance.

Once you start making suggestions remember that the team may like to do things their way.  Even if it may not be the most effective or efficient.  It’s their routine and they can do it on auto pilot.  Which is why your suggestions may be resisted even if it is an improvement.  New changes slow them down and take more focus and effort.  Don’t firehose the team with suggestions or requests.  Start with a simple change that will be easy to do and benefit them greatly.  They will see it as a positive and be more open to the next change.

 

The third step to fitting in is balancing your role as an associate.  You may feel like you are in the middle, torn between the owner doctor(s) and the team.   You are doctor and a leader.  Yet you don’t make the decisions.  Some decisions you may be more aligned with the team than you are the owner doctor.  The team may treat you like one of them and even tell you negative things about the owner doctor.  The owner doctor may complain to you about their team.  It is imperative that you not allow yourself to get stuck in the middle.  Always reinforce what is positive about the other person.  You may not always agree on every decision.  However, it is imperative that you support the owner doctor decisions in attitude and actions, or you will undermine them.  It is easy to judge when you have never walked in someone’s shoes.  It always looks easier when you are observing.  Leading a team and making the right decisions can be very difficult at times.  There are often many paths that can be chosen.

Tune in next month for the 4th and 5th step to thrive as the new kid or for that matter any team member in the practice!

September 1, 2020

How to Get & Stay Positive!

How to get and stay positive has become much more of an effort for many of us than it ever has been in the past.  Just turn on the news or read Facebook for five minutes and you may think it’s Armageddon!  Fortunately, much of the information is based on sensationalizing the facts.

Life is too short to spend it being negative and worrying.  Especially when there are so many reasons to be positive.  Other people and situations don’t make us feel a certain way.  We do it all on our own by how we think.  If we practice mindful thinking, we will feel more positive.

Start your day on positive note by thinking positive thoughts while still lying in bed.  Plan to have a good day by visualizing feeling good.  Wiggle your toes and stretch while you are visualizing.  Imagine feeling a sense of contentment and well-being and you will start to feel it wash over you.  Acting-as-if shifts our perspective and the emotions follow.  I like to start my day positive every day.  It does not hurt that I love the person I get to wake up with every morning.  That would be my husband Steve…just to clarify!

During the day focus on staying in the present moment and being aware of your surroundings.  Look for the positive around you.  Play the I spy…!

  • What is interesting?
  • What is beautiful?
  • What makes you smile?
  • What is inspiring?

It could be a flower, artwork, or a hummingbird.  It could be a great chair to sit in and read or the view out your window as you sip a great cup of coffee.  Maybe you have a fur baby like me who tries to get your attention while you work.  Give thanks for what is.  I personally reset by thinking about how grateful I am to have my health, my family, and I love what I get to do.  It is impossible to feel negative at the same time you feel gratitude.  If you are a list maker, make a list of what you see and our grateful to have in your life.

Our energy ebbs and flows like a tide.  Be mindful of your energy.  Reset when you start to feel yourself victim thinking and having pity party.  A pity party is when we focus on what we are missing in our life and what we had.  It might be a loved one, a job, or even life in general.  The why me stinking thinking.  The should or shouldn’t have happened thoughts.  Should and shouldn’t thoughts always send our emotions spiraling downhill.

Victims stay stuck thinking about what should or shouln’t have happened!  Whereas, creators think, so this happened so now what…!  They observe the emotion, triage the situation, and take the next step.  They believe they will succeed.  Scientists know that strong self-belief goes hand-in-hand with higher levels of resilience.  This means that if you believe you’ll be successful, it’s likely you’ll also have a high level of control over your thoughts, feelings and actions.  The result? You apply more effort and persistence. You demonstrate more resilience to push through. And you achieve what you set out to do.

The more we are open to and embrace that:

  • Life is uncertain
  • Life is unexpected
  • Life changes in a moment
  • No one owes us anything

The happier we will be.  Try to find humor even in difficult situation.  Appreciate what you have and what is regardless of what happened and what isn’t.

Labeling something as bad creates negative emotions. Truthfully, how can we label something as good or bad if we do not know the end? None of us have a crystal ball. So how do we really know if something is good or bad? There have been many things in my life that at the time seemed difficult or bad that turned out generating a very positive outcome.  Haven’t we all thought or said this is going to be bad at one time or another and yet it turned out to be one the best things to happen to us.  I can think of many situations and events that seemed very negative or difficult at the time that brought some of my greatest successes.  Be curious instead of critical and look for the opportunity in every situation.  What we look for we find.  Look for the upside in life!”

July 1, 2020

The WE Team!

The We Team!

 I refer to the leadership in a practice as the We Team! The We Team may consist of the owner doctor or doctors, practice administrator, manager, team lead and any other leadership roles in the practice. However, I will be focusing my message on the doctor/practice administrator relationship. It is imperative to develop a cohesive We Team. Without cohesive leadership performance expectations will be ambiguous and the team will conform to the lowest standards or expectations. Before you hire a practice administrator (PA) make sure you are ready to support them. I do not mean just financially. Consider the following questions before starting the hiring process:

·     Can the practice financially afford?

·     Are you ready to let go of some tasks and not micro-manage?

·     Will you take the time to empower someone else co-lead your team and practice

·     Will you support your PA in front of the team (any disagreements need to be behind closed doors away from the team)?

The relationship between the doctor and PA will be confusing without open communication and clear expectations. Many doctors hire a practice administrator without having clear expectations.  They believe the PA can manage without direction. The only guidance given to the PA is to let them know when they are doing things wrong. This lack of leadership sets the PA up to fail as it is confusing for them and the team. I receive a plethora of different answers when I ask doctors and team members what they think is the role of a PA. The role varies greatly from practice to practice.

Doctors make a list of the tasks you would like your PA to do before you start the hiring process. This will enable you to write and ad that clearly defines the role. Or if you already have a PA and have not defined their role do it now. You can also use this list to discuss strengths and future expectations.

Clearly define your goals and expectations. I would suggest creating a task management list that include the following. For a more detailed list email me at judykay@practicesolutionsinc.net.

·     Personnel/team management

·     Overseeing patient management

·     Practice management/productivity/promotion

·     Property/facility management

·     Any additional duties

Doctors and PA’s before agreeing to work together discuss the following:

·     How well do your core values match?

·     How aligned are your passion and purpose?

·     How well does the PA’s strengths match the expectations of tasks and responsibilities?

·     Do you both understand and agree on the role?

·     Does the PA really want the role, and have the capacity to excel in the role?

 

I am blessed to have worked with hundreds of dental teams nationwide to help them build a happier, healthier, and higher performing culture with my Culture Camps. Here is a link to my Rise & Shine Culture Camps (https://www.practicesolutionsinc.net/culture-camp.html) The best results are dependent on having an aligned and cohesive We Team.

Start by clarifying your roles as a We Team.

Doctor’s Role:

The doctor’s role is to create a clear vision for the practice. Choose four core words that reflect the core values you want to have in your practice. They are important to define what they mean to you and prioritize. These core value words will help guide you and your PA in decision making. I have found that four core words are much more powerful and effective than a rambling vision statement. Email me at judykay@practicesolutionsinc.net if you would like my Core Values sample list.

PA’s cannot meet your management expectations without ongoing communication. Every doctor and every office are unique. How could the PA possibly know what you want them to do? Schedule adequate time to meet with your PA on a weekly basis. This will allow and opportunity for the doctor and PA to:

·     Focus on the big picture and long-term goals

·     Share thoughts and ideas

·     Discuss and problem solve

·     Review practice statistics and adjust goals

·     Share patients and team kudos and growth opportunities

·     Define marketing opportunities

·     Discuss current projects and timelines

·     Give feedback on PA’s performance

·     Support your PA when confronted by a team member

 

PA’s Role

The PA’s role is to support the vision of the doctor in words, actions, and attitude. Support by inspiring, engaging, and empowering the team to implement the doctor’s vision. Which is why it will be imperative for the We Team to meet on a weekly basis to get and stay aligned.

A PA’s role includes the following:

·     Sharing new ideas with the doctor

·     Monitoring practice statistics

·     Introducing new ideas to the team in a team meeting setting

·     Utilizing a process/system to implement the new ideas

·     Creating accountability processes

·     Resolving issues

·     Communicating with the entire team individually and as a group to keep everyone in the loop and aligned

·     Creative problem-solving schedule obstacles

PA’s capitalize on your first 90 days by meeting with each team member individually to build relationships. Review current systems and processes and ask for feedback from the team on what is working well and any obstacles. Implement new ideas that are a positive for the team and easily achievable. This will help your team view change more positively. Take time to communicate with the team daily to keep everyone aligned and in the loop. At least 30% of your time to be spent working with team members. Be transparent and follow through with what you said you would do to build high trust relationships. Schedule time for social outings to have some fun together which will go a long way in building good will for stressful times. Share your knowledge and expertise and provide resources to empower your team to succeed!

The We Team relationships that soar are those that consistently take time communicate what they need from each other to successfully co-lead.

 

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