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September 1, 2020

How to Get & Stay Positive!

How to get and stay positive has become much more of an effort for many of us than it ever has been in the past.  Just turn on the news or read Facebook for five minutes and you may think it’s Armageddon!  Fortunately, much of the information is based on sensationalizing the facts.

Life is too short to spend it being negative and worrying.  Especially when there are so many reasons to be positive.  Other people and situations don’t make us feel a certain way.  We do it all on our own by how we think.  If we practice mindful thinking, we will feel more positive.

Start your day on positive note by thinking positive thoughts while still lying in bed.  Plan to have a good day by visualizing feeling good.  Wiggle your toes and stretch while you are visualizing.  Imagine feeling a sense of contentment and well-being and you will start to feel it wash over you.  Acting-as-if shifts our perspective and the emotions follow.  I like to start my day positive every day.  It does not hurt that I love the person I get to wake up with every morning.  That would be my husband Steve…just to clarify!

During the day focus on staying in the present moment and being aware of your surroundings.  Look for the positive around you.  Play the I spy…!

  • What is interesting?
  • What is beautiful?
  • What makes you smile?
  • What is inspiring?

It could be a flower, artwork, or a hummingbird.  It could be a great chair to sit in and read or the view out your window as you sip a great cup of coffee.  Maybe you have a fur baby like me who tries to get your attention while you work.  Give thanks for what is.  I personally reset by thinking about how grateful I am to have my health, my family, and I love what I get to do.  It is impossible to feel negative at the same time you feel gratitude.  If you are a list maker, make a list of what you see and our grateful to have in your life.

Our energy ebbs and flows like a tide.  Be mindful of your energy.  Reset when you start to feel yourself victim thinking and having pity party.  A pity party is when we focus on what we are missing in our life and what we had.  It might be a loved one, a job, or even life in general.  The why me stinking thinking.  The should or shouldn’t have happened thoughts.  Should and shouldn’t thoughts always send our emotions spiraling downhill.

Victims stay stuck thinking about what should or shouln’t have happened!  Whereas, creators think, so this happened so now what…!  They observe the emotion, triage the situation, and take the next step.  They believe they will succeed.  Scientists know that strong self-belief goes hand-in-hand with higher levels of resilience.  This means that if you believe you’ll be successful, it’s likely you’ll also have a high level of control over your thoughts, feelings and actions.  The result? You apply more effort and persistence. You demonstrate more resilience to push through. And you achieve what you set out to do.

The more we are open to and embrace that:

  • Life is uncertain
  • Life is unexpected
  • Life changes in a moment
  • No one owes us anything

The happier we will be.  Try to find humor even in difficult situation.  Appreciate what you have and what is regardless of what happened and what isn’t.

Labeling something as bad creates negative emotions. Truthfully, how can we label something as good or bad if we do not know the end? None of us have a crystal ball. So how do we really know if something is good or bad? There have been many things in my life that at the time seemed difficult or bad that turned out generating a very positive outcome.  Haven’t we all thought or said this is going to be bad at one time or another and yet it turned out to be one the best things to happen to us.  I can think of many situations and events that seemed very negative or difficult at the time that brought some of my greatest successes.  Be curious instead of critical and look for the opportunity in every situation.  What we look for we find.  Look for the upside in life!”

August 30, 2017

Happy Days Part 1!

Happy Days! Part 1

What do you think about on a day-to-day basis? We are the sum total of our own thoughts. The level of happiness we feel on a daily basis is a direct result of the thoughts we think! When we think happy thoughts we feel happier. Here are the first two of four methods to help you have happy days!


S.P.F. Power (Super Positive Focus)

We can get happier when we change our focus to positive. You can be happy even when life seems difficult. Here is the big secret about staying happy and positive on a daily basis. It does not take any super powers. It is simply a clear understanding of the power of focus.

If you focus on the positive, you will have a positive attitude. If you focus on the negative, you will have a negative attitude. When you hear people say they are in a bad mood, it is because they choose to linger in the negative emotions. The physical part of any emotion only lasts thirty seconds or less. Any emotion after thirty seconds comes from hanging on to the emotion.

Nearly all intended behavior, including attitude, is learned and so depends on the cognitive part of our brain. Our prefrontal cortex allows us to access and implement what we need to produce any attitude or behavior we choose. We can choose not to be negative, angry, hurt, stressed, frustrated, grumpy or whatever. It is always our choice. Instead, focus on finding a reason to be happy and feel good by looking for the upside in every situation.


Action Steps – S.P.F. Power:

  • Whenever you feel stressed and in the fight or flight zone, breathe deeply and count to ten, slowly for thirty seconds.
  • Feel and observe the physical reaction and then let it go.
  • Identify three positives in the situation. Even in the most horrific circumstances there are positives.



Mindful Talk Power

Words and thoughts have their own energy, including self-talk. We get happier when we are mindful of our self-talk. The majority of self-talk takes place so quickly and automatically that we don’t even notice we are doing it. Even if you don’t really listen to your chatter, your subconscious mind is listening. The subconscious mind just accepts everything you tell it, and responds accordingly. The average person has 60,000 thoughts per day with 95% of those thoughts being redundant. The bad part is that 80% of those redundant thoughts are negative.

Some examples of negative self-talk are:

  • Worry – Fear of “what if”
  • Perfectionism – Not good enough or should haves
  • Self-Criticism – Comparing yourself to others, with you being the loser
  • Self-Doubt – Lack of confidence that you can do or achieve your dreams
  • Wallower – You see yourself as a victim of your circumstances and have no control over them,   life happens to you, and you have bad luck.

Action Steps – Positive Mindful Talk

  • Focus on being a creator of your world
  • Avoid comparison distractions
  • Identify and do more of what makes you feel happy
  • Change what doesn’t make you feel happy


Tune in to Happy Days Part 2 to learn about the power of our choices and actions! Practice S.P.F. and Mindful Talk Power and start raising the level of your happiness today!

October 25, 2012

Our Physiology Impact Our Psychology!

We can reset negative thoughts and feelings when we do something physical!  Our physiology impacts our psychology!  When we change how we feel we change the words we tell ourselves which changes our story and our destiny!  Learn how to reset and R.I.S.E. to success!