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April 1, 2022

Toxic Performers!

The current staffing shortage has created greater opportunities for toxic performers.  Maybe you even have a few!  The toxic performer is the team member who is extremely skilled at their job.  They excel in front of the doctor(s), patients, and anyone else they feel is necessary to keep their status.  They are super performers when they want to be.  That’s the performer part.  However, the toxic side is their other side.  This is the side they save for their unfortunate co-workers or anyone they deem irrelevant.

Some signs of toxic behaviors are:

  • Air of superiority
  • Cynical
  • Closed to feedback
  • Unwilling to train
  • Gossip
  • Excuses
  • Deflection
  • Sarcasm
  • Blame
  • Drama

Evaluate your current team.  Are there any team members that fit the description of a toxic performer?  Here comes the difficult part.  This person is often the right hand of the doctor or manager.  They are highly skilled and high performers.  Therefore, it is extremely difficult to even consider letting them go.  Especially with the fear of finding skilled new team members.  Instead, the toxic behavior is allowed to continue in exchange for the performer side.

I receive the following response when I ask doctors and or managers this question.

“Why do you allow the toxic performer team member to continue to be a part of the team and practice when they are unwilling to support the practice values and our toxic to their co-workers?”

“Judy Kay, you don’t understand.  They are really, really good at what they do.  I don’t have anyone else that can perform at their level.  And it is difficult to find skilled new team members.  But I would let them go if they EVER behaved that way towards the patient.”

Regardless of how good of a performer they are, keeping a toxic performer is disastrous and will sabotage your practice culture.

It only takes one toxic performer to create a culture of chaos and negativity. Toxic performers make it feel unsafe and stressful for their co-workers. The rest of the team is on alert waiting for the toxic performers next sarcastic remark, outburst, or retaliation.  Toxic performers harm the productivity and morale of everyone around them.

  • They purposely hoard information and don’t train others to their level, in fear if they did it might sacrifice their stability.
  • They play the team against each other to divide and conquer.
  • Their unsupportive actions undermine the practice values.
  • The team loses trust and respect for their doctor, manager, and co-workers.
  • The culture has become filled with favoritism and double standards.

A double standard is a rule or principle which is unfairly applied in different ways to different people.  Double standards never work.  The team is just as important as the patients.  Treat your team as well as you treat your patients.  Take care of your team and they will take care of the patients.

Three powerful assessment questions regarding behaviors:

  • Does this behavior support the practice culture values?
  • Would I accept this behavior from another team member?
  • Would I allow this behavior towards a patient?

If you answered no to all three questions…it is time to address the toxic performer’s behavior towards their co-workers.  Ask the toxic performer if they are willing to step up and be supportive of the team and culture values.  Don’t be surprised if the toxic performer makes excuses for their behavior and take it as a personal attack against them.  They will often hold grudges, blame, and complain how they are the victim.  They need to verbally agree, and their behavior change needs to immediate and consistent.  If they don’t agree or if the toxic behavior happens again, invite them to step out and no longer be a part of the team.

Never sacrifice the entire practice culture for one toxic performer regardless of their talent and productivity.  Nor allow a team member to continue to treat their co-workers poorly.  A benchmark I suggest is would you allow that same behavior towards a patient.  You will lose good team members and destroy the practice culture if you allow the toxic performer to continue their toxic behavior.  It may feel very daunting.  However, other dental offices have been in this situation and not only survived but thrived.   They found that once they let the toxic performer go other team members were able to step up.  They were no longer held back by the toxic performer.  Create a culture where the team (including doctors) treats each other as well as they treat their patients and become tremendous performers!

February 1, 2021

 Bye Bye to Bullying Behaviors!  

 Bye Bye to Bullying Behaviors!  

I have the privilege of facilitating Rise & Shine Culture Camps for dental teams nationwide!  The Culture Camp is focused on co-creating a happier, healthier, and higher performing service culture!  Each Culture Camp varies greatly as they are customized to fit the specific needs of the practice culture.

I often observe behaviors of team members and doctors that undermine the culture.  In many cases unbeknownst to the person.   They are unaware of how negatively their behavior affects the team, practice, and patients.   A conversation to enlighten awareness is often enough to halt the unhealthy behavior.

However, there are other toxic behaviors that are intentional such as pot stirring, gossiping, and bullying!  This message will be focused on Bullying.

The dictionary defines Bullying as the use of force, coercion, or threat, to abuse, aggressively dominate or intimidate. The behavior is often repeated and habitual. One essential prerequisite is the perception (by the bully or by others) of an imbalance of physical or social power. This imbalance distinguishes bullying from conflict.[1] Bullying is a subcategory of aggressive behavior characterized by the following three criteria: (1) hostile intent, (2) imbalance of power, and (3) repetition over a period of time.[2] Bullying is the activity of repeated, aggressive behavior intended to hurt another individual, physically, mentally, or emotionally.  A bully deep down is insecure and fearful.  They fight these emotions by causing fear in others. Anyone can become a bully if they are fearful enough.

Most bully’s start out as a toxic performer.  A toxic performer is a team member who excels at their job and is toxic to their co-workers!  They are often told they are the best assistant or best hygienist etc. and start to consider themselves indispensable.  They have a Jekyll and Hyde behavior.  Doctors and managers make excuses for the toxic performer’s behavior.  They allow/accept it as a tradeoff for their skills and work performance.  I often hear doctors say, “I know Susie is difficult to work with.  We have even lost a few good team members because of her.  However, she is so good with our patients.   No one can do her job like she does.  If she ever treated patients like that, of course she would be gone!”   Excusing and justifying the negative behavior is what empowers toxic performers to continue them.  Left unchecked theses negative behaviors will escalate to bullying.

It is vital for the health of the practice culture to establish a standard for the practice declaring that the team must treat each other as well or better than they treat their patients to be a part of your team.  No exclusions and no exceptions.  Either they stop their negative behaviors, or they are no longer invited to be a part of the team.  Let them take their toxicity somewhere else.   We must never allow bullying in our practice.

We know who the bully or bullies are if we are on the receiving end.  But how do we know if we are the bully?  Bully is such a strong word, so we often avoid using it.  Read on to see if you demonstrate any of the following bullying behaviors.

 

Domination/Control Issues

As I mentioned, bullies are insecure and fear that others will find out.  They are filled with N.E.T.’s (not enough thoughts).  Not good enough, pretty enough, strong enough, smart enough or powerful enough etc…  They are driven to prove to everyone, mostly themselves, that they are.  They worry if they lose control they will get hurt.  They dominate others to maintain control.

Reflect to identify your control issues and find the underlying reason you feel the need to control everything and everyone around you.  Confront your insecurities and fears and change the internal dialogue to enough thoughts!

Emotional Reactors

Bullies are emotional reactors.  They are not in control of their emotions; anger quickly and lash out instead of taking time to understand.   Fear and anger can override better judgment.  There is very little to prevent a bully from acting on those emotions.  They may pride themselves on being direct when in truth their reaction is instead brusque. I refer to their reaction as The Emotional Reaction Cycle.  The Emotional Reaction Cycle is when something happens, meaning is assigned, the meaning generates emotions, the emotions drive a reaction.  The cycle can be stopped by respectfully asking to understand instead of assigning meaning and reacting brusquely.

Superiority Complex

Bullies often struggle with a superiority complex which promotes treating others as inferior.  They believe they are mentally, economically, socially, racially, or physically superior.  Their beliefs lead to lack of empathy and justification of dehumanizing actions.

Dehumanizing is when we stop seeing someone as another human being and instead categorize them by their religious, economic, social, and political affiliations, etc.  It is easier to be insensitive, degrading, disrespectful, and rude etc. to someone we have pigeonholed.  We identify and connect with certain groups and become intolerant and disconnect from other groups.

News Media and Social Media have become master pot stirrers trying to enrage and divide groups by planting explosive innuendos.  Much of their hype scraps end up being rumors and false information.

Instead have empathy and take time understand (research) other point of views.  When we interact with others, we are always coming from a place filled with our own experiences. Our expectations differ because of our unique and individual beliefs, opinions, and assumptions based on our experiences. These expectations become our personal truths upon which we base judgments of right and wrong. To help you remember the concept, see the first letters of each word; it spells out the word B.O.A.T. Beliefs, Opinions, Assumptions, therefore, are Truths based on our experiences.

It is important that we as individuals make a personal commitment to be open, respectful, and understanding of each other’s B.O.A.T.; it is what will enable us to communicate and interact effectively.  Choose to communicate with each other in a rational and reasonable manner.  Who knows, you may even shift your B.O.A.T.!  Always consider how you might make the other person feel.  Ask yourself, “How can I say what I need to say while still respecting how I make the other person feel?”  Here is a link to watch a video of me presenting on B.O.A.T.! https://youtu.be/xanv–CB2CY

Victim Mentality

Bullies refuse to accept the responsibility for their own actions and instead will shift blame to the someone or something else.   They don’t see their bullying behaviors as their fault.  Instead, they blame it on to the person they are bullying, the situation or other people.  “They made me act this way!” is a common excuse from bullies.  They see themselves as the victim in this case.  Even more incredulous is some bullies believe they are a hero because they were just protecting the practice or patients.  We choose our behaviors.  No one makes us act a certain way.  Be proactive and choose how you will show up each day!

I can help you!  Book a Rise & Shine Culture Camp and say bye bye to bullying behaviors.