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June 1, 2021

My Way or The Highway!

Our success in life depends greatly on our relationships in life!  Our relationships are the result of how well we communicate and collaborate in our personal and our professional lives.  When we communicate openly, positively, and effectively we inspire connections and build sincere, strong, sustaining relationships. Our ceiling of success then becomes like the old expression, “Sky’s the limit”.

What often gets in the way and sabotages successful relationships is our personal beliefs of right and wrong.

Most of our beliefs can be traced back to our early years.  I’m the youngest of seven and am blessed with a great family.  I grew up on a farm in North Dakota. My past experiences will differ greatly from those who were not raised in the same environment.  Our expectations of right and wrong will vary and may even conflict based on our past experiences.

When we interact with others, we are always coming from a place filled with our own experiences. Our expectations differ because of our unique and individual beliefs, opinions, and assumptions based on our experiences. These expectations become our personal truths upon which we base judgments of right and wrong. To help you remember the concept, see the first letters of each word; it spells out the word B.O.A.T. Beliefs, Opinions, Assumptions, therefore, are Truths based on our experiences.

We all have unique and individual experiences, yet we expect each other to think, act, and respond the same. These are some false expectations that can get us into trouble.

  • Others must behave in the same manner as we do, or their behavior is wrong.
  • Another person’s behavior must mean the same as ours if we did that same behavior.
  • We get in a disagreement because others disagree with our opinion (after all we are right and want it our way)!

These are examples of expectations based on personal truths. Once we understand that our personal truths (how we judge the world by what is right and wrong) are based on the unique and individual experiences we have, we can no longer believe that our answer is the only right answer.

Our personal truths dictate our right!  We may be right based on the current extent of our experiences.  However, there is a whole big universe out there filled with experiences we have yet to meet.  Right and wrong are really arbitrary.  The more knowledge and understanding we have the more we will realize how ambiguous right and wrong become.  In our current state of affairs, it is very difficult to really know what is true or a manipulation of the truth.  When we continue to explore, we will find there is always more than one right way.

I used to love listening to Paul Harvey’s The Rest of the Story.  The Rest of the Story was a Monday-through-Friday radio program originally hosted by Paul Harvey.  The Rest of the Story consisted of stories presented as little-known or forgotten facts on a variety of subjects with some key element of the story (usually the name of some well-known person) held back until the end. The broadcasts always concluded with a variation on the tag line “And now you know the rest of the story.”

Be open to the more of the story instead of stubbornly attaching to your beliefs.  Avoid making assumptions and filling in the gap based on your B.O.A.T.!  Ask questions until you uncover and understand the root of the belief, the why behind the story.  Here are some good questions to ask when you are in disagreement.

  • Where did you learn this belief?
  • Tell me why you believe this to be right?
  • Tell me why you feel so strongly about this?

More importantly, do a little soul searching first to understand your beliefs before you question other’s beliefs.  Here are triggering questions to ask yourself to uncover your why.

  • Where did I learn this belief?
  • Is this belief based on truth or illusion?
  • How important is this belief?
  • How this belief affecting me?
  • Do I still need this belief (how relevant is it now)?

Let go of thinking I have to, you must, they should, and it has to be!  These are the words we use to judge others.  When we think we know more or better than someone else we are setting ourselves up for a clash of beliefs.  We become too attached to our own point of view and that others must share it.    Once we become too attached to an idea we lose respect both for ourselves and others.  Sometimes a belief can even become more important than the other people.  It is the root of extremism and fanatics.

The world is filled with different beliefs and different ways.  Who says we all have to always agree.  More importantly we need to respect each other and work together for the better of all mankind.  I love what my big sis Lorraine taught me years ago.  It is okay to agree to disagree.  We can stick to our right or we can be open to infinite possibilities!

April 30, 2021

A Communication Structure to Get in the Loop & Aligned! Part 2

Last month we covered different communication structures based on the size of the practice. This month will be focused on the meetings necessary to support your communication structure.

Allow time to communicate daily with a huddle. Daily huddles are for the team including doctor(s) to triage the day. Discuss any bottlenecks/obstacles, where to put emergencies and if any team member(s) will be missing that day. End the huddle with something positive and uplifting to help unite the team to work together to make it a great day!

Weekly management meetings between the director of operations and all location managers together will help nurture consistency, cohesiveness, and accountability throughout the company. It is key that any changes are discussed and agreed on at the weekly management meeting prior to implementing at any location.

Managers will meet with their team leads on a weekly basis to share information and get feedback that is pertinent to their location.

Mangers will also hold monthly team meetings to include their team, doctor(s), and director of operations. Each location manager will lead their own team meeting. The director of operations will attend each manager’s monthly team meeting to give a quick update on the company and to support the manager.

Team meetings are ideal for getting feedback from the entire team before making any changes. This allows the team to feel heard and take ownership. Team meetings also allow time to discuss and define how the change will be implemented in each location.

The frequency of team meetings will depend on your practice’s specific needs. I would suggest meeting weekly if you are a newer practice, newer team or and existing practice that is making a lot of changes. Monthly is sufficient if you have been in practice with the same team and not making many changes. Multi-location practices are to schedule monthly team meetings at each location the same week to keep the entire company on the same page.

Team meetings also help to create accountability by reviewing your previous meeting’s notes to see if the changes were successfully implemented.

It is imperative that everyone supports and holds each other accountable to the communication structure, or it will fail. Which means doctors/managers if someone on the team approaches you with a question, instead of answering the question, refer them to the appropriate person defined in the structure. Otherwise, the team will continue to go to the wrong person and disrupt the flow.

Here is a list of the meetings necessary to support an effective communication structure in a large practice or multi-location practice.

  • Annually or bi-annually teambuilding meeting for entire team and doctors
  • Annual performance review led by director of operations (DOO) and includes location manager and team member (feedback given to DOO from doctor prior to review if doctor(s) unable to attend)
  • Monthly leadership meetings between DOO and doctors
  • Monthly team meetings at each location (all the same week) led by location manager and includes DOO as well as doctors and team in that location
  • Weekly management meeting with DOO and all location managers
  • Weekly check in meetings with location manager and team leads
  • Individual team meeting as needed

Creating a clear and consistent communication structure and meetings will help keep everyone in the loop and on the same page working together for the greater good of the patients, practice, and team!

 

April 1, 2021

A Communication Structure to Get in the Loop & Aligned! Part 1

 

I think George Bernard Shaw said it best when he said, “The greatest problem with communication is the illusion that it has been accomplished!” I find that to be the case in many dental practices today. More relationships are destroyed because of poor communication than for any other reason.

I have the privilege of working with dental teams nationwide facilitating my Rise & Shine Culture Camps. I consistently observe concerns with the communication structure in dental practices. What I mean by communication structure is the actual flow of communication. It is what is necessary to keep everyone in the loop and on the same page working together for the greater good of the patients, practice, and team!

An effective communication structure starts with establishing a clear flow for communication and clarifying expectations to the team.

  • Who to go to or does it differ for specific areas? For example, do they always go to the office manager or is there a specific person for equipment repair, ordering supplies, or team, and patient concerns, etc.?
  • When to meet? Always consider who needs to know what information and when do they need to know it?
  • What is the decision-making process and how is it communicated to the team? Who will make the final decision and how quickly can it be made? I suggest trying to resolve within one week after being discussed at weekly management meeting to keep the practice moving forward. Try to resolve immediately if it pertains to the schedule that day.

 

The communication structure will differ based on size of practice and number of locations. For example, if you have one doctor and five team members in a single location versus 5 doctors and 45 team members in multiple locations.

The communication structure in a small one location practice without a manager would simply be doctor to team member and team member to doctor. As simple as that sounds it does not necessarily happen. I often observe a doctor or team member going another team member to share their concerns instead of going to each other. It is called gossip and is divisive.

The communication structure for practices with a manager would flow from doctor to manager and manager to team member and reversed team member to manager and manager to doctor. Even this simple communication structure can be difficult to maintain if the doctor and manager deviate from the flow.

It becomes more complicated when there are multiple locations and more team members with different shifts or start and end times. Larger multiple location practices with team leads would utilize the following communication structure. Doctors to director of operations, director of operations to location manager, location manager to team lead, team lead to team member. The reversed would-be team member to team lead, team lead to location manager, location manager to director of operations, director of operations to doctors.

Doctors may not always need to be included in the flow of communication depending on subject matter. The director of operations may make the decisions to expedite the process and keep the doctors in the loop at their scheduled monthly leadership meeting.

Implementing this communication structure will help to keep everyone in the loop and aligned!

Tune in next month to learn about what meetings are necessary to support your communication structure.

 

 

March 1, 2021

A Line Sand Day!

A Line In The Sand Day!

If you are reading this, you miraculously survived 2020.  2020 was a crazy ride that brought a combination of challenges that nobody would have believed could have happened.  For some it might have felt like the end was coming.  But we survived. We endured the challenges, and some of us even discovered new strengths and became even better. We adapted and made concessions, but we are still here.  Which is reason enough to celebrate with a thank you, amen or a TA-DAH!

The dark side of 2020 was comprised of negativity, uncertainty, fear, stress, anger, judgment, and blame, etc..  Many of us were hoping 2021 would magically change everything.  While the calendar might have turned a new page, much of our reality is continuing to be the same as we start 2021.  It’s time to reset and take action.  It’s time to let go of those dark emotions and move forward to a happier, healthier and higher performing 2021!

A line in the sand day is the perfect way to reset for 2021.  A line in the sand day is the day we decide to wipe the slate clean and start fresh.  Let go of the past and focus on the future.

We need to be able to let go of some of the things that happened if we want to work together successfully.  Because stuff happens and will continue happen.  A line in the sand day will allow the team to move forward and work together in a cohesive, happy, healthy and high performing culture!

It starts with being able to forgive and move on.  Let go of the things that happened and focus on how not to replicate them in the future we become a creator of our life.  If we choose to hang onto the things that happened to us and choose not to move on, we become a victim of our past.  I would much rather be a creator of my future than a victim of my past.

Let’s say I have a disagreement at work with someone and we aren’t getting along.  Co-workers don’t get involved with other team member’s dramas or you escalate the drama unless you are the doctor or manager or whoever handles conflict resolution in your practice.

It’s our job to work together well with our co-workers the moment we step across the threshold to start our day.  It’s each team member’s responsibility to figure out what they need to do to work together successfully.  Meet with any team member you are having the difficult problem with.  Extend the olive branch and openly discuss what you need from each other to work together successfully.  Focus on big picture goals first which are the core values of our practice.  Find what you agree on and build from there.  Be open and willing to compromise and agree on a process.  It’s not my way or your way it’s our way that supports the core values of the practice and is in the best interests of the patients, practice and team!  Not any one individual.  We make agreements.  We hold each other accountable and we support each other.  There are no individual opt outs.

The success of a practice is based on the success of the team.  We succeed as a team or we fail as a team.  If we run into hiccups, we review as a team and adjust what is needed to stay relevant.

I suggest a line in the sand day on a yearly basis.  It will enable your team to work together in a calm and cohesive manner and let go of the drama in the past.  Implement your line in the sand day and make 2021 your best year yet!

Contact me if you would like help implementing your Line in The Sand Day!

February 1, 2021

 Bye Bye to Bullying Behaviors!  

 Bye Bye to Bullying Behaviors!  

I have the privilege of facilitating Rise & Shine Culture Camps for dental teams nationwide!  The Culture Camp is focused on co-creating a happier, healthier, and higher performing service culture!  Each Culture Camp varies greatly as they are customized to fit the specific needs of the practice culture.

I often observe behaviors of team members and doctors that undermine the culture.  In many cases unbeknownst to the person.   They are unaware of how negatively their behavior affects the team, practice, and patients.   A conversation to enlighten awareness is often enough to halt the unhealthy behavior.

However, there are other toxic behaviors that are intentional such as pot stirring, gossiping, and bullying!  This message will be focused on Bullying.

The dictionary defines Bullying as the use of force, coercion, or threat, to abuse, aggressively dominate or intimidate. The behavior is often repeated and habitual. One essential prerequisite is the perception (by the bully or by others) of an imbalance of physical or social power. This imbalance distinguishes bullying from conflict.[1] Bullying is a subcategory of aggressive behavior characterized by the following three criteria: (1) hostile intent, (2) imbalance of power, and (3) repetition over a period of time.[2] Bullying is the activity of repeated, aggressive behavior intended to hurt another individual, physically, mentally, or emotionally.  A bully deep down is insecure and fearful.  They fight these emotions by causing fear in others. Anyone can become a bully if they are fearful enough.

Most bully’s start out as a toxic performer.  A toxic performer is a team member who excels at their job and is toxic to their co-workers!  They are often told they are the best assistant or best hygienist etc. and start to consider themselves indispensable.  They have a Jekyll and Hyde behavior.  Doctors and managers make excuses for the toxic performer’s behavior.  They allow/accept it as a tradeoff for their skills and work performance.  I often hear doctors say, “I know Susie is difficult to work with.  We have even lost a few good team members because of her.  However, she is so good with our patients.   No one can do her job like she does.  If she ever treated patients like that, of course she would be gone!”   Excusing and justifying the negative behavior is what empowers toxic performers to continue them.  Left unchecked theses negative behaviors will escalate to bullying.

It is vital for the health of the practice culture to establish a standard for the practice declaring that the team must treat each other as well or better than they treat their patients to be a part of your team.  No exclusions and no exceptions.  Either they stop their negative behaviors, or they are no longer invited to be a part of the team.  Let them take their toxicity somewhere else.   We must never allow bullying in our practice.

We know who the bully or bullies are if we are on the receiving end.  But how do we know if we are the bully?  Bully is such a strong word, so we often avoid using it.  Read on to see if you demonstrate any of the following bullying behaviors.

 

Domination/Control Issues

As I mentioned, bullies are insecure and fear that others will find out.  They are filled with N.E.T.’s (not enough thoughts).  Not good enough, pretty enough, strong enough, smart enough or powerful enough etc…  They are driven to prove to everyone, mostly themselves, that they are.  They worry if they lose control they will get hurt.  They dominate others to maintain control.

Reflect to identify your control issues and find the underlying reason you feel the need to control everything and everyone around you.  Confront your insecurities and fears and change the internal dialogue to enough thoughts!

Emotional Reactors

Bullies are emotional reactors.  They are not in control of their emotions; anger quickly and lash out instead of taking time to understand.   Fear and anger can override better judgment.  There is very little to prevent a bully from acting on those emotions.  They may pride themselves on being direct when in truth their reaction is instead brusque. I refer to their reaction as The Emotional Reaction Cycle.  The Emotional Reaction Cycle is when something happens, meaning is assigned, the meaning generates emotions, the emotions drive a reaction.  The cycle can be stopped by respectfully asking to understand instead of assigning meaning and reacting brusquely.

Superiority Complex

Bullies often struggle with a superiority complex which promotes treating others as inferior.  They believe they are mentally, economically, socially, racially, or physically superior.  Their beliefs lead to lack of empathy and justification of dehumanizing actions.

Dehumanizing is when we stop seeing someone as another human being and instead categorize them by their religious, economic, social, and political affiliations, etc.  It is easier to be insensitive, degrading, disrespectful, and rude etc. to someone we have pigeonholed.  We identify and connect with certain groups and become intolerant and disconnect from other groups.

News Media and Social Media have become master pot stirrers trying to enrage and divide groups by planting explosive innuendos.  Much of their hype scraps end up being rumors and false information.

Instead have empathy and take time understand (research) other point of views.  When we interact with others, we are always coming from a place filled with our own experiences. Our expectations differ because of our unique and individual beliefs, opinions, and assumptions based on our experiences. These expectations become our personal truths upon which we base judgments of right and wrong. To help you remember the concept, see the first letters of each word; it spells out the word B.O.A.T. Beliefs, Opinions, Assumptions, therefore, are Truths based on our experiences.

It is important that we as individuals make a personal commitment to be open, respectful, and understanding of each other’s B.O.A.T.; it is what will enable us to communicate and interact effectively.  Choose to communicate with each other in a rational and reasonable manner.  Who knows, you may even shift your B.O.A.T.!  Always consider how you might make the other person feel.  Ask yourself, “How can I say what I need to say while still respecting how I make the other person feel?”  Here is a link to watch a video of me presenting on B.O.A.T.! https://youtu.be/xanv–CB2CY

Victim Mentality

Bullies refuse to accept the responsibility for their own actions and instead will shift blame to the someone or something else.   They don’t see their bullying behaviors as their fault.  Instead, they blame it on to the person they are bullying, the situation or other people.  “They made me act this way!” is a common excuse from bullies.  They see themselves as the victim in this case.  Even more incredulous is some bullies believe they are a hero because they were just protecting the practice or patients.  We choose our behaviors.  No one makes us act a certain way.  Be proactive and choose how you will show up each day!

I can help you!  Book a Rise & Shine Culture Camp and say bye bye to bullying behaviors.

January 1, 2021

Leave Your C.R.A.P. at the Door!

Leave Your C.R.A.P. at The Door!

Happy New Year!  Usually, I like to start the year focusing on how to improve and grow.  I don’t know about you, but I would be thrilled with just getting back to the old norm in 2021!  The pandemic was like a remote control that put us on pause and now it is time to hit play!

The uncertainty of the pandemic, election, shutdowns, etc.…the list goes on and on has been an enormous weight we have all carried.  Which over time lowers our level of tolerance and heightens our level of insensitivity.  The media including social media has played an enormous role in fueling negativity.  So many people with keyboard courage.  Strike that; keyboard cowardice.

We continuously hear our politicians talking about uniting and becoming one again.  Yet bipartisan behaviors continue to happen on both sides.  I remember my dad, Clem Miller, chiding me about being to pro for one party.  He believed you must take everything you hear regarding politicians with a grain of salt.  Truths are manipulated in both parties.  He simplified it by comparing Democrats and Republicans to the Looney Tunes characters, Ralph the wolf and Sam the sheep dog.  They would fight each other all day long.  However, once they clocked out for the day, they would go back to being friends.  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5VYtiyjqx7E

We can’t control what others do but we can control what we do.  Our actions will determine our outcome.  It is time to leave the 2020 C.R.A.P. at the door and move on to a more positive and prosperous 2021!

C.R.A.P. is an acronym for:

  • Criticism
  • Rudeness
  • Assumptions
  • Problems

 

Criticism – The dictionary defines criticism as the expression of disapproval of someone or something based on perceived faults or mistakes.  We have the right to have our own opinion and so does everyone else.  Make a commitment to start 2021 with respecting other people’s opinions.  We show respect by listening openly to understand and even consider their point of view.  Start out the conversation by focusing on what you do agree on.  Be mindful of your words, tone, body language and energy.  Our words make up only 7% of how others perceive us.  Body language is 55% and tone of voice is 38%.  When you approach someone come with an energy and mindset of care and curiosity versus judgment and blame.

Rudeness – The dictionary defines rudeness as behaving inconsiderately, aggressively or deliberately offensively.  Consider how your words, body language and tone can convey perceptions of rude behaviors.  Be polite by being thoughtful of the other person’s feelings.  Simple words, please and thank you are powerful.  Ask questions to understand and acknowledge responses.  Before speaking always ask yourself, how can I say what I need to say while still respecting how I make the other person feel.  Avoid flippant sarcastic remarks like whatever which lessen the seriousness.  Address mistakes with kindness and compassion.  Body language such as rolling of the eyes or frustrating sighs are dismissive actions.  Curse words and name calling are offensive and never ever appropriate.

I love to use the acronym T.H.I.N.K. as my filter before I speak.  It helps me communicate positively and effectively and avoid conversations that require and apology later.

  • T- is it true
  • H – is it helpful
  • I – is it inspiring
  • N – is it necessary
  • K – is it kind

Assumptions – The dictionary defines assumption as a thing that is accepted as true or as certain to happen, without proof.  False assumptions run rampant and are most often negative.  Here is a three-letter word that will resolve assumptions…ASK! Stop assuming and ask questions to understand.  When you get that twinge in your gut and you think… “Hmmm…I wonder what they meant by that?” or you find yourself saying “I think they meant this” – you don’t know! Stop yourself immediately from wondering and speculating, go directly to the person and ASK! You will be surprised how many of your assumptions are incorrect after you hear their response.

Problems – The dictionary defines problem as a matter or situation regarded as unwelcome or harmful and needing to be dealt with and overcome.

The average person has 60,000 thoughts a day.  95% are redundant…the same thought we had yesterday is the same as today and tomorrow.  80% are negative unless we are mindful.  Negative thinking can often make a mountain out of a mole hill.  Many of our problems our self-induced by the words we use to describe a situation or person.  Words that label such as hard, difficult, and stressful generate those same emotions.  For example, we review the schedule at the morning huddle and say it’s going to be difficult and stressful day.  We will look for things to reinforce our beliefs and it will become a difficult and stressful day.  Instead use the word interesting to describe a person or situation.  Interesting is a neutral word.  Be a creator of your day and replace negative problem thoughts with positive actions that resolve the problem.  Leave your C.R.A.P. at the door and make 2021 your best year yet!

December 1, 2020

The Peak-End Rule!

I love helping dental teams co-create a happier, healthier, and higher performing service culture.  Our culture is a result of practicing a consistent set of values to deliver consistent experiences.  However, not all experiences are not judged equally according to the peak-end rule!

The peak–end rule states that people judge an experience largely based on how they felt at its peak (its most intense point) and at its end, rather than based on the total sum or average of every moment of the experience.  The peak-end rule highly influences how we remember our experiences.  We believe we are accurately recalling facts when it really has more to do with our emotions during the experience.

Our memories of positive and negative experiences are dependent upon two things: what we were feeling at the most extreme (peak) point and how the experience ended. Our memories are typically not an average of the experience or the amount of time we were engaged in the situation.

We can actually be irrational in our recollection and memory of events.  Our memories consist of a series of highpoints rather than a thorough record of facts and events.

We won’t know what the peak experience will be that will impact our team or patients.  However, we can plan the end experience.  Which is why it is imperative for the team to end the day on a high.  It is even more important than how we start our day.  Same with our patients.  We must not only welcome them warmly we must also have a warm farewell.

Let’s start with the team.  What can you do at the end of the day that will make a more positive end experience?  Maybe a heartfelt thank you, a high five for a job well done or even taking a moment to do a TA-DAH together!

The end experience for your patients usually involves paying their bill or a future bill.  Many patients have a difficult time parting with their money, which is why it is so important that the process flows smoothly.  Otherwise, it can become a negative end experience if handled poorly.  Which is why it is so essential that you have a confident and knowledgeable team member having the financial conversation.  Doctors you may have built rapport with the patient and they are excited to move forward with treatment.  Only to have it end at the financial discussion.

It is so important to role play this experience.  Also, make sure you have the tools you need to have a successful conversation.  My favorite tool is the Payment Options Form that Care Credit offers.  I love that you can customize it to include only the payment options you want to offer.  The form is so organized even a brand-new team member could confidently review payment options and sound very professional and knowledgeable.  It also includes all the legal information you will need to make payments arrangements.

You can find it at https://www.carecredit.com/providercenter/contactcenter/.  Enter the code JKM and request information on the Payment Options Form.

Here are a few steps to take to ensure not only a positive experience but a WOW end experience.

  • Delineate the final patient experience
  • Discuss and agree on verbiage and flow
  • Practice role playing and the physical walk through to build confidence and competence.

Whatever the end experience; following these simple steps will help ensure it is a WOW experience!

November 1, 2020

How to Thrive as The New Kid on The Block!  Part 2

How to Thrive as The New Kid on The Block!  Part 2

Last month we focused on the first three steps to thrive as the new kid on the block.  They were building confident trust relationships, learning systems and processes, and balancing your role as the associate.

The fourth step in fitting in is by avoiding gossip.  Gossip is sharing anything that is negative or private about another person.  Listening is gossiping if you are not in a position that allows you to resolve the issue.  The listener plays a 50/50 role.  Because it stops if the person complaining has no one to tell.  I have found it works best to refer the person back to the source of concern to work it out instead of listening.  Instead of listening ask them if they have tried to talk to the other person.  If they say no, ask them to do so and stop the conversation.

People who engage in workplace gossip often have a strong need to “fit in” and feel that gossip will help them achieve this. Gossipers often suffer from low self-esteem and think that talking negatively about others will make them look better. If we truly grasped the devastating fallout from gossip, we would no longer accept it as the norm for any culture!

Gossip affects:

*             Patient care and experience

*             Team communication, performance, and relationships

*             Practice performance

*             Morale

*             Trust

*             Respect

 

The fifth step to fitting is to be approachable.  Do daily or weekly check ins with your team and owner doctor.  A simple question to ask, “Do you have any questions or suggestions for me?”   Avoid becoming defensive even if you disagree or feel hurt.  People will avoid defensive people.  You have a role as an approachee (the receiver of information).

The Approachee’s role is to start out by thanking the approacher (the person approaching) for respecting you enough to come to you. It is important to recognize that the approacher’s intent is good and to realize that it is not easy to approach someone.

Listen intently to hear.  Make eye contact with the other person.  Don’t take offense.  Instead of defending, deflecting, or blaming someone else consider how your actions or lack of actions affected the outcome.   Be honest with your response.

Acknowledge you heard and understand them.  Never assume.  If you are unsure ask questions until you clearly understand.  If you are thinking I think they mean this…ask more questions.

Don’t take it personal.  If the concern pertains to the patients, the practice, or the team it is necessary to address.  It can be difficult to hear when we are not meeting the standards or expectations.  However, it is necessary to address in order to create and sustain a happier, healthier and higher performing culture.

Take it seriously.  It may not seem important or be a priority to you, but it is for the other person.

Control your emotions.  If you are upset don’t just walk off in anger or frustration.  Instead, let them know that you need a little time to process the information they shared, and you will respond later and give them a specific time.  Try respond within 24 hours.

I like love to utilize the L.E.A.R.N. acronym when being approached.

  • Listen intently to hear what they have to say
  • Empathize by acknowledging their emotions
  • Apologize for the situation
  • React by sharing what you will do
  • Notify those that need to be aware of the discussion and decision

Here is an example how you can use L.E.A.R.N.  Your assistant is frustrated because she just started working with you and doesn’t understand what instruments you want and when.  It makes her uncomfortable because she has been an assistant for years and this makes her feels inadequate.  The conversation might sound like this.

“Thank you for respecting me enough to come to me with your concerns.  I can understand how uncomfortable this must be to work with a new doctor.  I am sorry that this is frustrating for you.  We will take some time to discuss what instruments I need with the different treatments we offer.  During the procedure I will ask for what I need.  We need to learn how to work together and that takes time.  So, let’s agree to have patience and support each other.  I will make sure I speak with the other assistants about tray setups as well to keep us all on the same page.  This will ensure that we all have a great day!” 

Instead of constructive criticism (which is an oxymoron) use positive verbiage and have a constructive conversation.

Following these five steps will help you thrive as the new kid on the block!

October 1, 2020

How to Thrive as The New Kid on The Block!  Part 1

How to Thrive as The New Kid on The Block!  Part 1

Congratulations your the new kid on the block!  You are a recent dental graduate who just got hired as the new associate to work with Dr Wonderful and her team!  It’s your first glorious day!  You are ready to take on the world and deliver exceptional service and care.  Oh, but wait a minute.  There are these people you now must rely on…called your team!  There was no mention of team relationships.  No one told you in school that you were going to be dependent a team.  You were just planning on focusing on dentistry.  Surprise!  That’s not how it works.  The success of a practice is largely based on how well you work together as a team.  So how do you build happy, healthy, and high performing relationship with an existing team.  Some of who you may have not hired in the first place.

It is important to remember that you are the outsider coming into their world.  It’s like being the new kid on the block.  You must figure out how to fit in with the existing team culture.  Fitting in takes time and patience.  The team is going to check you out because they don’t know you or trust you.  They will be watching your every move to see if you will fit in.

The first step to fitting in is to focus on building confident trust relationships with each team member.  The dictionary defines trust as instinctive unquestioning belief in and reliance upon something.  The trust I am suggesting is not one of blind faith but instead one of confidence!  Confident trust is based on consistency!   Consistency of good reasons to trust based on significant past evidence and experiences.

Think of the people in your life that you confidently trust.  Take a moment to reflect why you feel confident in trusting them.  Confident trust does not just happen overnight.  It takes time to nurture and grow.  However, breaking one’s trust can happen in a heartbeat.  The great news is that trust can be rebuilt.  It takes a sincere daily commitment to be transparent, consistent and realistic.  An actionable and measurable process is to assess your every action, attitude, and conversation by checking off the following list.

*             Am I being transparent

*             Am I being consistent

*             Am I being realistic

*             Am I doing what I said I would do when I said I would do it

 

Some examples of behaviors that build confident trust are:

 

*             Be transparent by keeping the team in the loop

*             Be consistent with daily tasks

*             If you have a concern talk to the person

*             Help when you see help is needed

*             Ask for help when help is needed

*             Ask don’t assume

*             Take ownership – do what you say you will do when you say you will

*             Focus on the greater good instead of WIIFM (What’s in it for me)

*             Don’t gossip

*             Tell the truth and be compassionate

*             Don’t be late or absent for trivial reasons

 

The second step to fitting in is to learn the current systems and processes.  Spend time talking with the doctor and each team member to learn why they do what they do.  For at least the first 90 days immerse yourself in learning their ways instead of making suggestions.  It will give you time to build trust while you learn.  The team is often suspicious of the new doctor.  They are afraid the new doctor is going to want to change everything.  After all you’re the new kid on the block…you should have to fit into their practice.  Many team members may be older than you.  Show them you respect their experience and expertise by being open to their guidance.

Once you start making suggestions remember that the team may like to do things their way.  Even if it may not be the most effective or efficient.  It’s their routine and they can do it on auto pilot.  Which is why your suggestions may be resisted even if it is an improvement.  New changes slow them down and take more focus and effort.  Don’t firehose the team with suggestions or requests.  Start with a simple change that will be easy to do and benefit them greatly.  They will see it as a positive and be more open to the next change.

 

The third step to fitting in is balancing your role as an associate.  You may feel like you are in the middle, torn between the owner doctor(s) and the team.   You are doctor and a leader.  Yet you don’t make the decisions.  Some decisions you may be more aligned with the team than you are the owner doctor.  The team may treat you like one of them and even tell you negative things about the owner doctor.  The owner doctor may complain to you about their team.  It is imperative that you not allow yourself to get stuck in the middle.  Always reinforce what is positive about the other person.  You may not always agree on every decision.  However, it is imperative that you support the owner doctor decisions in attitude and actions, or you will undermine them.  It is easy to judge when you have never walked in someone’s shoes.  It always looks easier when you are observing.  Leading a team and making the right decisions can be very difficult at times.  There are often many paths that can be chosen.

Tune in next month for the 4th and 5th step to thrive as the new kid or for that matter any team member in the practice!

September 1, 2020

How to Get & Stay Positive!

How to get and stay positive has become much more of an effort for many of us than it ever has been in the past.  Just turn on the news or read Facebook for five minutes and you may think it’s Armageddon!  Fortunately, much of the information is based on sensationalizing the facts.

Life is too short to spend it being negative and worrying.  Especially when there are so many reasons to be positive.  Other people and situations don’t make us feel a certain way.  We do it all on our own by how we think.  If we practice mindful thinking, we will feel more positive.

Start your day on positive note by thinking positive thoughts while still lying in bed.  Plan to have a good day by visualizing feeling good.  Wiggle your toes and stretch while you are visualizing.  Imagine feeling a sense of contentment and well-being and you will start to feel it wash over you.  Acting-as-if shifts our perspective and the emotions follow.  I like to start my day positive every day.  It does not hurt that I love the person I get to wake up with every morning.  That would be my husband Steve…just to clarify!

During the day focus on staying in the present moment and being aware of your surroundings.  Look for the positive around you.  Play the I spy…!

  • What is interesting?
  • What is beautiful?
  • What makes you smile?
  • What is inspiring?

It could be a flower, artwork, or a hummingbird.  It could be a great chair to sit in and read or the view out your window as you sip a great cup of coffee.  Maybe you have a fur baby like me who tries to get your attention while you work.  Give thanks for what is.  I personally reset by thinking about how grateful I am to have my health, my family, and I love what I get to do.  It is impossible to feel negative at the same time you feel gratitude.  If you are a list maker, make a list of what you see and our grateful to have in your life.

Our energy ebbs and flows like a tide.  Be mindful of your energy.  Reset when you start to feel yourself victim thinking and having pity party.  A pity party is when we focus on what we are missing in our life and what we had.  It might be a loved one, a job, or even life in general.  The why me stinking thinking.  The should or shouldn’t have happened thoughts.  Should and shouldn’t thoughts always send our emotions spiraling downhill.

Victims stay stuck thinking about what should or shouln’t have happened!  Whereas, creators think, so this happened so now what…!  They observe the emotion, triage the situation, and take the next step.  They believe they will succeed.  Scientists know that strong self-belief goes hand-in-hand with higher levels of resilience.  This means that if you believe you’ll be successful, it’s likely you’ll also have a high level of control over your thoughts, feelings and actions.  The result? You apply more effort and persistence. You demonstrate more resilience to push through. And you achieve what you set out to do.

The more we are open to and embrace that:

  • Life is uncertain
  • Life is unexpected
  • Life changes in a moment
  • No one owes us anything

The happier we will be.  Try to find humor even in difficult situation.  Appreciate what you have and what is regardless of what happened and what isn’t.

Labeling something as bad creates negative emotions. Truthfully, how can we label something as good or bad if we do not know the end? None of us have a crystal ball. So how do we really know if something is good or bad? There have been many things in my life that at the time seemed difficult or bad that turned out generating a very positive outcome.  Haven’t we all thought or said this is going to be bad at one time or another and yet it turned out to be one the best things to happen to us.  I can think of many situations and events that seemed very negative or difficult at the time that brought some of my greatest successes.  Be curious instead of critical and look for the opportunity in every situation.  What we look for we find.  Look for the upside in life!”

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